Thursday, June 30, 2005

WARPED AGAIN

Since laura already did this I guess I should too. I'm not doing anything anyway. Warped tour kicked. I wish that some of the bands that were there last year were there this year but you can't always get what you want. It was still a good line-up though. The best part was that MxPx was there. The kicked so much.

This is the even better part though...

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I totally met them...

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For those of you who don't know this. MxPx is the band that started it all for me. I've liked them since like sophomore year of high school and have never seen them in concert before. Little did I know that I would meet them!

I can seriously die happy now.

Uh let's see...I don't think I am going to list all the bands that I saw because we would be here forfuckingever. I do have to say that the lead singer for My Chemical Romance is f-in hot. He doesn't look like it in the videos but he is. Want proof?

Here you go...

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All I have to say is, "dude, I want to bone him."

Other than that I took a lot of pictures, got a bunch of really cool shit and a sunburn from hell. Definitely a lot worse than last year's burn but totally worth it all.

I bid you a good day.

F-IN PROCRASTINATING

I didn't know that you could exceed "pokes" on facebook. Supposedly I have to wait another 6 hours before I can poke anyone else. *shrugs* I think I just have too many friends on there and no life. Maybe I should do homework. Peace out.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

DRIVING IN NEUTRAL

This weekend was awesome. I got to hang with laura and we went to warped tour. I will post about that later though.

It was nice seeing kelly this morning. I wish I could have chatted with shawn longer but most of all I wish that I was just in San Marcos for the summer.

I just got off of work and I should either be sleeping or doing homework. Somehow I just can't find the motivation to do either of those things. My sunburn is unbearable. My homework is just too much for the things that I have on my mind.

So I have to admit that there is this boy and it's driving me nuts. I hate to be so vague but I don't want to get my hopes up. *sighs* I hate being a girl but I really just hate having crushes. Being a Leo though means that the chase is going to be the fun part for me. *grins* Looking forward to junior year.

Only 6 weeks left.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

THE TRUTH

My mom wears Fall Out Boy t-shirts.

*nods*

Monday, June 20, 2005

SUCH IS LIFE

My sister got this for me like a week ago.

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The only reason I waited till now to show it off is because the spurs won tonight, bitches!

The only reason that is on a smirnoff bottle is because it was sitting in our fridge and no one was going to drink it. Plus it matches with the jersey! *grins*

Sunday, June 19, 2005

THIS IS IT.

I have reached my breaking point of the summer. I can not even begin to stress how much I am tired of my dad. I am so sick of his attitude.

If he doesn't care enough about his health then why should we? If he wants to kill himself slowly then he can do it when I am not looking. We've all gotten to the point where no one cares anymore. I freaking try so hard with him but it's like getting a bull down. He's entirely too stubborn and hard-headed.

I told him that he doesn't know how to talk to his children. I asked him why he thinks it's necessary to yell at us all the time to get everything done. I told him to talk to me and not at me or down to me because I'm not 5 anymore. I'm about to be 20 for the love of God. I called him a child and told him to act like a man for once. I told him to quit rationalizing the fact that he doesn't work out the way that he should. I called him stubborn.

I told him that the only reason I go to school every morning is because I get the motivation from my mother. I told him that all of our low self-esteem is derived from what he puts in us. I asked him why he had so many children if he can't appreciate any of us. I told him that his kids were afraid to talk to him. I told him to look at his kids while they sat there and cried as I poured all of my feelings out to him. As I sat there and told him everything that they have always wanted to say but were too afraid to say.

What hurts me the most is that I told him all of this just to have him walk away from me and blow it all off. He didn't take anything that I said to him to heart. Once again this proves nothing but the fact that he doesn't give a shit about anyone. Not about me, not his children, not his wife, and most of all not even himself.

I know for a fact that the bigger part of me being depressed when I am here all the time is that I feel bad for the way my family has to live with my father. He's not a good person. I hate him so much sometimes that I don't even want to call him "Dad." From now on I will call him by his first name. No bullshit. He isn't a "dad;" he's only a father. "Dad" is a title that should be earned.

And -that- my friends is how much I don't care anymore. I've had it with him.

Happy fucking father's day, Ernest.

Friday, June 17, 2005

ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE POSTS

...where I am going to sit here and bitch about my weight. Lately I have found myself very discouraged. I am not losing weight. Everyone tells me that they are seeing differences in me and I have lost a few inches but there is no difference in the scale.

Losing weight seems to be a whole lot harder this summer than it was last. Also my sugars are a whole lot more sensitive this summer. Grrr. I hope to still see some differences. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and I am going to ask him why I'm struggling so bad with this. I don't understand. I eat right, I workout everyday, and I drink nothing but water. There's something wrong in suburbia.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

FOR MY FRIENDS

I'm not going to lie. I think a whole lot less of Kelsea now. However, I'm not bitter. We're simply different people now.

For those of you who do love me and can call me a friend please confront me whenever you need to. I won't be offended because I never hesitate to confront anyone if I know that the situation will continue to damper the relationship. A situation can always be helped but communication is key.

Nevertheless, if you don't believe that you can talk to me then maybe we aren't really friends. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes the situation calls for time before confrontation or one person to come to the other. Just don't let the problem go without say. You'll never get anything solved. Friends can talk to each other though, right?

On another note, my apologies for my not-so-happy posts lately. Life isn't being very nice right now but with time it'll pass. So until then I will keep my head up. I still have much hope in many of my endeavors. Much love.


Monday, June 13, 2005

IT'S SIMPLY LOVE

We went to San Antonio to be with my grandma yesterday so she didn't have to face this by herself. All day we had asked her if she was hungry. Her response was always, "no, get me a coffee." For my grandmother all she needs is her coffee and cigarettes for her to believe that she is okay.

Last night we took her to the McDonalds at the hospital and bought her a burger. My grandpa had just made it in a few hours prior and didn't leave her side once. Half way through her burger I caught her staring at the table and not eating. I said, "Grandma, eat, please." She broke down and cried again.

My grandpa then turned to her and said, "eat for me, madre." So she took another bite. Granted that this may mean nothing to you it meant a lot to me. One of her youngest is lying on his death bed and she still ate for the sake of her husband. Beauty? Love? Both.

Keep us in your prayers and your thoughts. We are already making arrangements for the funeral.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS

Go see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Totally worth it.

San Marcos tomorrow (today), bitch.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

TO THE ASSHOLE

The next time you throw the dog -I'm- going to be the one taking a shit in your shoe.

SO HELP ME GOD

I have a test tomorrow. Yes! I love taking tests. *rolls eyes* I told myself that I would study after I swam. Instead I ran across a very interesting website that caught my attention. Damn the internet.

After this test tomorrow I am going to attempt to just relax. My days at home are just too full. All of my phone conversations with friends last maybe 5 to 10 minutes and end because I need to do something. Sorry guys. The busy life blows.

Yesterday was just ridiculous. Wake at 7, eat breakfast, drop off dad, get ready, class from 8 to forever (11:20), workout from 12 - 1:15, pick-up mom from work at 1:30, swim from 2:30-4, shower and be at work from 5-whenever, come home, do homework, and get no sleep at 2 in the morning. All of this to just wake and do it again. *passes out*

Therefore, this saturday call for San Marcos and the river. I can't wait to see kelly, laura and alli. Though they are the only ones I have talked to recently about me going up there.

Bought my warped tour ticket today. Be excited.

Ciao!

Sunday, June 05, 2005

OH FAITHFUL ONE

I always find it cute and can't help but laugh at how my mom does things. For example, when she does a puzzle and she is looking for a certain piece she will say, "Jesus, help me find this piece." Then later when she gets it, "Thank you, Jesus."

It reminds me of something out of the movie Saved! She actually went to an all girl Catholic High School so I don't know if that might have anything to do with it. Oh my mother and her faith. So much she has of it too.

Anyway I have a test tomorrow in Spanish and I've only half ass studied. Luckily for me it's only vocabulary and shouldn't be too hard. Have I mentioned that I might kill myself in this class? It's entirely too long for me. I seriously think I might have A.D.D. because after 50 minutes I get so bored and feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

*Note to self: Never take another four hour class in the summer. It's not for you!

I'm getting my warped tour ticket tomorrow. Then it'll be official. Budgeting sucks. My job sucks. My boss sucks more. I think it's pathetic when you have to call your boss and tell them what not to do and what they should do.

Yesterday was the worst day of my summer by far. I went to work at 1 and I threw up 3 times within an hour and a half. I was so sick. I was supposed to work till 9 but the manager sent me home. I thought it was going to get worse. On top of throwing up I had the chills and cold sweats. It was something similar to a flu without all of the congestion.

When I came all I did was drink 93457029 cups of sprite/7up and slept for 03784 hours. This morning when I woke everything was a-okay and I even got to workout. Twenty-four hour bugs suck ass but thank God that's all it was.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

DISAPPOINTING NEWS

Today I thought I was saved for sure. I came home from the gym and my sister was here when she should have been at work. I soon found out that she was moving back in. *gasp* 'What the hell happened?'

Just a bunch of roomate money issues...what else? So my parents decided to take her back in but we had to get out to her house and get all of her things within only a few hours so she wouldn't get fired from her job.

So this whole time I am thinking well now that she is moving back in there will be no room for all of us. It's a lot less spacious when kids become adults and start getting their own things. So this was my chance! Let me convince my parents to take me back to San Marcos. I could get my refund at school, sell my book back, get there tomorrow and find a job, right? Wrong.

My proposal didn't work. Not even in the least. My mom told me to shut up. I was thinking about it though. I am only going to be here for just a little over two months. It sucks being here but I can hack it.

Today my summer class started. Already I have a lot of homework. Seeing as how I am soooo tired I need to get on it before I fall asleep. Lo siento, loves, I would have loved to be back already. *sighs*I tried.