Thursday, December 30, 2004


I have to do this quick fast and in a hurry because the OC is going to be on soon.

I think that it's time to put my guard down. Last night Mike called me condescending. I didn't deny it but I didn't agree with him either. I asked him how and he told me, "Why do you act so stupid, Liz? You are one of the smartest fucking people I know. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You should accept who you are."

Truth be told, I'm not ashamed of who I am. I know who I am. Mike was right about one thing, I am condescending, but he was wrong about me needing to accept it. I can't accept something that I don't like about myself. Don't get me wrong, I love myself but there are things that I don't like and this would be one of them.

Kelsea and I had a similar conversation about how there is always a control issue in over powering her when we hung out this semester. It's not that Mike matters more and that I didn't get anything out of what me and kelz talked about. It's that stubborn people (me) need to be told things more than once sometimes before it sinks in.

I just want everyone one to know that I am working on it. It will be my new improvement for the year, a New Year's Resolution if you will. Most of all, I want/feel the need to apologize to those of you that I have hurt/affected by this.

I can still be confident without being condescending. I can still be that Eiffel Tower. These are the things that I need to remember. The things that I will remember.

Happy New Year's, everyone! Sorry I can't be at the bash that Kelz is throwing but shit happens. Plus there is a 23 year old I'm crazy about and plan on kissing at midnight. (Rene) *grins wide* Wish me luck!



Tuesday, December 28, 2004


Yesterday I caught up to my shadow and passed it up. My accomplishments are becoming greater by the minute. Or are they?

Yesterday I didn't even hang out with him in hopes of getting over this but it didn't work. I am such a failure. *sighs* I hate crushes.

So the last post was all about how I am crazy about this Rene character and blah blah blah. So of course I completely forgot to tell you guys that my dad is growing a mullet!!! It is the most hilarious thing since the last time I saw Napoleon Dynamite.

My sisters and I have decided to grow our hair out and donate it to locks of love. In order for them to take it though your hair lock has to be like 8 inches long. One of my sisters had this bright idea to ask my dad to do it too and he said he would. So the other day I noticed that he got a haircut but he's letting the back grow out.

Me: Dad, are you growing a mullet?!
Dad: Yes I am.
Me: *laughs*
Dad: I'm doing it at the request of my daughters. So do you want to keep laughing at me?
Me: Well, it doesn't look that bad right now but when it gets there you can bet your ass that I'll be making fun of you.

Maybe I shouldn't give him such a hard time about it, it's for a good cause. Afterall we are donating it to cancer patients. I remember when he had a mullet for the hell of it when I was a kid. I think we still have pictures of it too. I'm pretty sure I showed Kelz the picture when she was at my house back in August. I don't care who you are, mullets are funny.

I'm glad that I have the oppurtunity to do something like this though. Being a dirt poor college student doesn't give me the time nor the money to help out with much of anything. This will be fun. I haven't had long hair since sophomore year of high school. I'll have the chance to have it long and then dramatically cut it short to freak people out. It's gonna be awesome.

You know what else is awesome? This...


Anxious for San Marcos.

Monday, December 27, 2004


Dude, my little sister Anna just opened a blog. Yes, she's hilarious. They don't call her my mini-me for nothing. Check it out, hoes!

Victoria still sucks but I am slowly approaching my leave. One week and three days and still counting.

I figured out why it is that I hate having crushes. This ties back into the whole thing about having a high need for control. Yes, I know I talk about this communications shit a lot but I really find this stuff interesting.

Why I hate having crushes...
because I can't control them.

Why I hate making the first move...
because if there is rejection how do you control it? You can't.

I think that the logic of this is really fucked up. I am the kind of person that is very upfront about things and I like confrontation. When it comes to guys though it is a completely different story.

Shit, I really like him. I sit here and try to think of ways to get over this but I can't. He's just so fucking cool. As I hang out with him more everyday I just grow to like him more. There are a few people that have these theories about how he likes me too but I'm too much of a pussy to find out if he really does.

Then again, does it matter? What good would it do? Not a whole lot. I could try a long distance thing but I don't really want to. I am gonna be super busy next semester. I'll have two jobs (one that is pretty much a full time job) and I'm gonna be taking 16 hours, not to mention that I still plan on being involved.

He's a 23 year old bartender. Who wants that? Someone that's 23 (edited by: Liz...he is really 23, not 26.) and isn't doing much with his life. Details. The other night Jennie told me that he was a licensed Phlebotomist.

You see what I mean? I told Jennie that I couldn't see myself with a guy that didn't have a life set out for himself. Doesn't seem that way though. I am trying my damnedest to find reasons but they never work. Grr. If all else fails and life sucks at least I know that he can make one hell of a drink so I can't remember being upset. *grins*

I know you hate hearing about this so I'll stop. I like writing these things though. In a few months I'll go back, read these, and say 'Holy shit, I remember that! What was I thinking?' It's good stuff.


I feel like a Dork.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


So if you haven't seen Blade Trinity then you need to. It is was so fucking awesome. Personally, I like that one a whole lot more than the first two. The only reason behind that is because of the comic relief. Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder) is so freaking hot.

Napoleon Dynamite came out today. Yes, I woke up early to get it too. I was up at freaking 9:30 this morning! The shit I do for the things I want these days. That's a big deal for me considering for the past few days I've been waking up at 2 in the afternoon or later.

So if you get to see this sometime today after I post I will have you know that I will be in San Antonio tomorrow. *nods* That's right, San Antonio. My sister wants to go and see her friend and I told her that I wanted to come. Only because I am gonna be calling all of my SA peeps. Ya'll will probably hear from me tonight though.

So I hate Victoria. There are nothing but a bunch of mexicans. There is one sitting to my left as I type this useless/mindless crap. There is one at the counter. There are some across the way at other computers. My brother is sitting next to me and he is mexican too. What the fuck?!? I never thought that you could see so many mexicans at a library. It's a library! They aren't smart enough to be here. How in the hell do they know how to operate computers? The only thing that they are good at operating are guns. They should be out shooting people. What are they thinking? Damn, them for not having enough money to get their own damn computers.

Yeah yeah yeah. I know what you're thinking. "Why the hell are you there then, Liz?" Shut the fuck up! I have a computer but I don't have internet. I am poor too but I am not ghetto or stupid. I belong in a library, bitch. I am a college educated hoe.

Does anyone else have a public library where the homeless come in here to sleep on the chairs that are provided for reading? Just wondering. From now on I shall carry disenfectant spray with me. None of that cheap shit either. I'm talking Lysol.

Boy oh BOY! It's a beautiful day outside! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! It's December the 21st! It's should be freezing balls outside! I haven't been able to use my big ass jacket yet. Gosh I hate the weather, but you gotta love Texas.

I got my grades back. Whew! I thought for sure that my GPA would drop but it stayed the same. I would have liked it to go up but I knew I was getting a C in philosophy. I am happy that it didn't drop though. I am usually really hard on myself about these things but there is no need to beat myself up for it because I loathed that class. My GPA is still pretty good and I am looking forward to next semester. I will be taking calculus and that'll raise my GPA for sure. Calculus was my thing in high school. *grins*

I want to be back in San Marcos already. Though I will be leaving here a week earlier than what I was supposed to it just isn't enough. I miss ya'll.



Friday, December 17, 2004


I only have a few minutes to post but I have to do it. I am having my withdrawls. I am going swimming in a bit and my mother is rushing me.

The other day I found out that my uncle's step son killed himself.
He was only fourteen too.
He did it because he wanted to prove to his boyfriend that he couldn't live without him.
Now he just won't live.
I hope he proved his point.
We won't get into this because we know how I feel on the issue of suicide.

Just yesterday I was in Houston because my grandpa is back in the hopital.
What a way to spend the holidays, ay?
In a hospital bed.
He was supposed to be on his way back here to victoria but that didn't happen.
He will be okay though.
He looks good.
Don't worry.
Everything is fine.

On the way back from houston the Hall Director at San Marcos Hall called.
I will be moving in on the 6th.
I have training on the 7th.

The other day I bought a new cd and I am in love with this band too.
They will probably not triumph over The Postal Service though.
Kate, you should get kelz into them since I am not there to do it.
Then we could all jam out to them in your car with the windows down.

In a few days Napoleon Dynamite is coming out on DVD.
I don't have money but that movie will be mine.
I will make it happen.

Everyday here sucks.
I already want to go back.
It's cool though.
I will be back before everyone else.
This just means that everyone can come and stay with me till the dorms open.
By everyone I mean Kelz, Kate, Kelly, Christine, and Nicole.

For now I must go.
I have more to say but we should keep this one short.
Also I have run out of time and....

Monday, December 13, 2004


This time it was unintentional.
This time just like the last.
The delirium is setting in.
I am sorry to the viewers.
More sorry to myself.
To my body.

Here is to no sleep and two finals.
One after the other.
One at 8 and the other?
I can't even think.
Should I pee?
Should I sit here and continue to ramble?
Shall I point fingers?
Shall I hit myself for not getting this done right?
Who is to say that you suck?
It was you, you and you.
Oh, that's right, maybe me too.

So here I am at 5 o' fucking clock in the morning.
I just sit here and let my fingers lead the way.
Shall I sleep?
It's too late.
*thinks to herself*
Say something witty.
Be better than the both of them.
Show them up.
You controlling bitch.
You competitive whore.
Show them up.
*thinks in screams*
Fuck you, head!

I've been shook, shaken and overtaken.
Dance, just fucking dance.
It was you that conquered the pointing finger of the reaper.
We speak in words of metaphorical healing words.
Of beautiful trees in the land of lifedreams.
What does it all mean?
Fuck the top of the world.
Don't make me hurl.
Is there even such a possibility?
You see?
You speak metaphorically.
Fuck you, head!

Time is precious.
Only a matter of time you see.
Only time.
What is time?
Time is thinning.
He was thinning.
Their time thins.
His time thins?
She thinned?
Of course.
How else?
Why so many questions?
Can't you stop it?
Fuck you, head!

It was 3:06am.
This is when it happened.
"You always need to be somewhere you love."
It was 3:06 am.
I am human.
I am an individual. (Maybe)
I am a fucking eiffel tower.
I will see you in the afterlife.
See you there.
Fuck my head.
I will be there.

Sunday, December 12, 2004


Another busy day. Fun!

I think that it's just that time of the year for me. Things don't seem to be that bad but I bitch about it anyway. My apologies for the last post. I mean not to worry everyone (those that asked me about it at least). I am sure that everything will work out okay.

This break is going to drive me nuts. I hate being home and away from my friends. Plus Jennie and Jason (my two best friends from Victoria) don't live there anymore and aren't really gonna be there alot. In other words I am gonna have a lot of family time. A LOT. Hopefully it won't be too bad. I can always workout, I need to anyway.

Don't forget to purchase your ticket to see Jimmy on the 15th. Also don't forget that we are needing to be here a few days before class starts to have a CD day. Yesssss! I have been meaning to do that for a while.

To everyone that has finals left, Break a leg! My mother is praying for you and everything will be okay. We all know about how she has that direct connection with God. Christine is at Disney World. *shakes her fist* I'll call her and have Mickey wish us luck. Between God and Mickey there is no way that finals won't go well. Hasta Pasta!

Currently Listening To:

The Juliana Theory - "Emotion is dead, Pt. 2"



Saturday, December 11, 2004


To: the viewers
From: the editor

Okay. You can just shoot Mora then.
All I need of that test is a 76.
*crosses her fingers*
It wasn't that I half-assed studied, because I didn't.
It was because it was more detailed than what it was made out to be.
It was harder than what she said.
I am pretty sure that I got the grade I need but I would have liked to make an A.
It wouldn't have mattered though.

To: those that care
From: the confused one

Life sucks.
Finals sucks.
What sucks the most is losing a best friend though.
I have lost two before and I really don't want to have to go through that again.
It feels like that has been happening to me lately.
Where did I fuck up?
Why do I feel like this?
Why have I felt unwanted?
This isn't even me overreacting this time.
You see it too.
You can't tell me that you don't.

To: the one I considered my best friend
From: the one that actually cares about this friendship

What frustrates me the most is not being able to talk to you the same anymore.
Why is it that you couldn't have postponed for an hour to talk to me?
Would it have really mattered that much?
Why is that I would drop anything for you?
I thought you could do the same for me too.
Where did everything change with us?
Funny thing is, you told someone else that everything was okay.
Obviously it wasn't because you couldn't even tell me.
I am bothered by this more than you think.
I am hurt by this more than you know.
And I don't even know what to do anymore.

Currently Listening To:

Fall Out Boy - "The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes."



Thursday, December 09, 2004


That I said I would hump in the previous post is the one on the far right. *orgasms* Too hott for words.

Currently Listening To:

Sublime -"Date Rape"


Headaches suck ass.


1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
Mxpx, enough said.

2. What was the last song you listened to (voluntarily)?
"Swing Life Away." - Rise Against

3. What's in your CD player right now?
An acoustic CD that I made, Jimmy Eat World - Futures, Radiohead - Kid A, Wheat, and Matchbook Romance/Motion City Soundtrack Split ep.

4. What song would you say sums you up and you love the lyrics to?
"The District Sleeps Alone Tonight" - The Postal Service.

5.What's your favorite local band?

6. What was the last show you attended?
Ska show on Saturday night (Captain Bringdown, Los Skarnales, and The Stingers)

7.What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
Oh man, that's a tough one. Weezer. A few years back when they played with Jimmy and Tenacious D. It was fucking great.

8. What's the shittiest band you've ever seen in concert?
Oh man, Nevertheless. Hands down. Those guys sucked ass.

9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
Don't know. I have liked all of the members from bands that I have met so far. The Strokes seems like they would be assholes.

10. What's the most musically involved you have been?
When I was a kid I was in choir, played guitar, violin, keyboard, and some other shit that was gay like bells and xylophone.

11. What show are you looking forward to?
Jimmy Eat World with Reuben's Accomplice. Jimmy is awesome in concert.

12.What is your favorite band t-shirt?
Toss up. MxPx or Matchbook Romance but only because of the design.

13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
If I could bring him back to life, Brad Nowell (lead singer of Sublime, for those of you that are dumb) we could smoke some pot.

14. What musician would you like to hump for a day?
Oh man, Patrick Strump. (Lead singer of Fall Out Boy)

There is no 15. get over it.

16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
Black Sabbath.

17. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie?
No thanks.

18. Blackjack or solo Michael Bolton?
Fuck that.

19. Does Primus suck?

20. Name 3 flawless albums:
1) Jimmy Eat World - "Clarity"
2) Sublime - "40 oz to freedom"
3) Thursday - "Full Collapse"

21. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
Tell me something that I don't know.

22. What was the greatest decade for music?:
*shrugs* A lot of good music comes from them all. It's too tough to answer that. I do like a lot of stuff from the 70s though.

23. How many music related videos/DVDs do you own?
Only a couple. I would have more if it was my choice but I am a poor college student.

24. Do you like Journey?
Heck yes. What do ya think?!? They don't get enough credit.

25. Don't try to pretend you don't!
*blank stare*

26. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
SLC Punk. Hands down.

27. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?
Ghetto rap shit and anything that was on the radio including Nsync. I have broadened my horizons and thank god for that.

28. What music is your "guilty pleasure" that you don't often admit to liking?
Linkin Park I guess. How about a CD that I have but can't seem to get rid of even though I think they suck and I never listen to it? That would have to be Trapt.

29. What album have you purchased the most copies of in your lifetime?
About to get another copy of "Clarity" from Jimmy and "40 oz to Freedom" from Sublime because both of my copies are shot to hell.

30. Who is your favorite musician and why?
Mike Kinsella. Have you heard of American Football? Cap n Jazz? Joan of Arc? Owen?!? Then you wouldn't understand.

Currently Listening To:

Ben Kweller -"Lizzy"



Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Well well well. I have finally reached the greatest point of this semester. I have finally got my Philosophy Final over with. I have the best luck too. I got both of the essays that I really wanted. I think God was rewarding me for the good things I said about him on my final for the problem of evil. *grins*

The first one essay was by far my best one and it's longer than the second. The second one was good but not as good as the the first. It's cool though. I am still anticipating that I get a decent grade. Even if I don't, I don't care. I hate that class. Nope, I loathe it.

Anyway, I just woke up from a four hour nap like whoa. I always find it easier to study and take a couple of naps when it comes to something like this. I studied from 12 last night till about 5:15 this morning with 5 minute breaks after 30 minutes intervals. I went to sleep till 7:15 this morning, had a nice big breakfast and then studied till 10, napped for one more hour and studied till 2.

It was definitely an exhausting experience. So my nap today was well accounted for. I live off of naps and I don't think there is anything wrong with that either. I love sleep. It's the greatest thing in the world.

All of my delirious capabilites last night contributed to the creation of my new AIM screen name. The other one was just temporary till I could get a good one. I like the one I have now. I promise I won't change this one unless something else goes wrong.

Tomorrow the pool calls for me to workout. My partner in crime contributed to me gaining weight for finals when he decided to go to wal-mart and buy a shitlaod of "brain food," coffee, and tea. I probably wouldn't have studied as much if he wasn't here either. Thanks, cuz!

Anway, I am sure that you don't give a shit but I don't care. Why do you come here? I am off to wait for family guy. Ciao! Don't stress too much on finals. Everything is going to be okay.

Currently Listening To:

Matchbook Romance -"For you (In Transit)"



Tuesday, December 07, 2004


Well, it's that time of the semester. Finals. Boy oh boy do I just -love- finals. I like to call them "Fat finals." For some reason a lot of people gain weight this time of the semester. My cousin and I went out to get a whole bunch of shit to snack on last night. I got into work this morning and I had a care package that they gave me filled with candy and all sorts of unhealthy shit that no one should eat.

This school contributes to the gaining of weight at finals time too. "Moolight breakfast? Free Meal Trade, ay? Ten o'clock at night? I am there. It's free!" It's too late to eat at that time of night, but of course I'm going. What did I say? It's free.

I am starting to feel guilty from just looking at all this food. I just know that I am going to eat it eventually with all of the studying I have to do. Oh geez. I didn't even workout yesterday, I won't be able to today and I will most likely be too tired to workout tomorrow after this damned philosophy final.

It's reasonable to gain weight at this time but I don't like the idea of that happening. I just got through losing the few pounds that I gained after thanksgiving. Not to mention that I have worked my ass off this year. I am gonna just have to swim my ass off on Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. I wish the pool was open on Saturday but I can deal with jogging. That shouldn't be too bad. Four days a week is recommended, right? *counts in her head* Yep, that's four days.

Today I woke up sore just like Kate said I would. It's ridiculous that I am just now feeling sore as a result of the workout from sunday. *shrugs* Shit happens. I want to take a nap but I know that isn't possible. See? Shit happens.

It's now 11:15 and I promised myself that I would start my third essay for philosophy at 12. I had to take a break or my head was gonna explode. So far since I have been here I have gotten two essays written and only have the other two to complete. Does it count that I have started the third one? No? Shit. Better get to work then.

Sunday, December 05, 2004


Did anyone ever watch that cartoon? The main character was John Lovitz. It was pretty hilarious but that's beside the point. I am referring to myself as a critic...a music critic. At least for this post I am.

I have been meaning to do this for a while but you know shit happens. Especially with finals just right around the corner and the first one just so happens to be my philosophy one. Did I ever mention that I loathe philosophy? Whatever.

So I have the new Jimmy CD and I just want to say a few things about it. The only reason I got this CD is because it is a continuance of Clarity and when I heard that it was a must have. If you don't know this already Clarity was the CD that came out before Bleed American, also known as (to those of you who don't know Jimmy that well) the CD with "The Middle" on it. Clarity was and from the looks of it will always be the best CD that Jimmy has out.

Anyway. I just want to say that Futures, the new CD, is by far better than Bleed American. Let's face it Clarity owns and Bleed American blows, at least in comparison to Clarity. You shouldn't worry though. Jimmy has redeemed themselves by making this CD a continuance of their best.

"Drugs" is where you can tell musically and lyrically that this CD is in fact a continuance. If you are taking the song "Pain" (the one they released) into context here, then you shouldn't. That song in no way, shape or form represents what Jimmy is really about and the same goes for "The Middle."

If you want to experience the continuity of this more I suggest the songs, "Drugs," "The World You Love," and "23." That's where the good shit is. There are a few other songs that are good but "Pain" isn't one of them.

Don't forget that this is just all my opinion and you are entitled to your own but I don't mind arguing mine. Alright enough of the jib jab. It's time to crack down some more on this philosophy. Love, peace and chicken grease.

Currently Listening To:

Jimmy Eat World - "Night Drive"



Thursday, December 02, 2004


Some people just don't get when they are unwelcomed. I have lately with some people but I don't annoy. Really, truly, and honestly! How many context clues does it take?!?! So, it has come to this, I changed my screen name...but for a good reason. Anywho. If I haven't messaged you with the new screen name then let me know and I will get that to you shortly. *nods*

Hopefully this will be the last time that I have to change my screen name for a while. That was my third one since last year and I am now on my fourth. EEK. My apologies.

At least I am not doing it to fuck with people like some. *looks around* Can you believe it? Seven screen names?!?! Wow. Some people are crazy. When I blocked them all he even made one just for sweet.

So who wants to tell him that he is a loser that shouldn't mess with someone that can admit to being fat but still be confident? Who wants to tell him that I, unlike him, don't give a shit what people say or think about me? Who wants to tell him that stuff like this only makes me stronger and laugh more? What a joke.

Sorry, Kelly, but I have to play the card.

Don't you just love it when I'm a bitch, Brad? *raises her eyebrow*
*Eats some tacos from Taco Bell*
That was just for you.
It's because I'm mexican and fat. Ha!
I love a good joke but yours suck.
Get over it.
You did this to yourself.
You're getting what you deserve.
They won't come down and you can't win.

The overly-confident fat girl,

Currently Listening To:
Bart talk his nonsense - watching the simpsons.




(You do realize that was sarcasm, right?)

Well, we have made it to another Thursday, the last for T-Th classes, and tonight is the night. The night that the OC shows. YESSSSS!

If you don't have a facebook then you need to get your ass one. Like right now. So go this link. Dooooo it.

It's a more sophisticated At least on facebook there aren't any people that act like they are someone else. You have to be enrolled in the school that you open the facebook with. It doesn't leave too much room for psychos. *looks around*

I have been able to contact some of my friends that go to other schools. It's really neat so do it! I have been on there for the past two hours finding more of my friends. It's way cool. If you get one then you have to let me know. For sure.

I'm only posting because work is boring. I will have another post later for my critique of the Jimmy cd. I have to have it playing for the inspiration to write it. Ha. I'm such a loser.

Last night when I had dinner with my BA family (Bobcat Awakening- the retreat I went on last semester) I was inspired to staff for the next BA in February. Hopefully I will get the staff I want too. I think it will be fun and I need Jesus in my life.

Anywho. Philosophy study group is tonight. Man I don't think that I can stress how much I -hate- that class. Life sucks but I can do it. There is only a few more days left. *exhales deeply* Next week will definitely call for some stress relief. Thank God for swimming. Ciao!

Currently Listening To:
My typing.




Don't you hate it when you're computer fucks up and you lose your whole post?!?!

I will post what I wanted to say about the new Jimmy CD tomorrow (technically today.) I have to be at work early so I am gonna say one more thing and then it's about time I turn in.

A Note To the Loser...*coughs* Brad *coughs*

Stop messaging me. I figured that a 26 year-old who has a degree (yeah right, paperboy) would know when he isn't wanted. I guess some people just aren't smart enough to get the context clues. I tried to make it obvious by blocking your first six screen names but you just had to go and create another one. Geez.

Get over it. The post is not coming down, nor will the comments. If you leave this alone and stop talking to me then eventually you will die as a subject. I will stop talking about how psycho you are and we can all get on with our happy lives. *grins*

From the Fatso,

Currently Listening To:

Jimmy Eat World - "23"