Tuesday, August 31, 2004

AT LOSS FOR WORDS

So today was pretty crappy. Not even swimming class made me feel any better. I love swimming too. *shrugs* Well, let me tell you about this. I am the type of person that can swim to save my life and have a good time...the end. Today i felt so stupid. I couldn't identify any of the strokes or even do them. So I am really not that smart. *clears her throat* I am NOT perfect. That's also because i am without you. You know who you are too.

Some of you know about me being really depressed this past summer. I was so depressed because of a number of reasons. I was trying to lose weight, I needed to get over someone that once meant a lot to me, I didnt have a job and my class was really freaking hard and i wasnt getting the grade that i wanted. Things did get better eventually but i am afraid that this time they probably wont. Not unless i get a miracle.

I am beginning to feel worthless again. I dont have a job and i am once again single. I really think that sometimes these roller coasters of life arent made for me. I know things will get better but it just seems like i just went through enough and here we go again with another downfall.

For those of you who hate me...go on ahead and laugh. I already know that this is really pathetic of me.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

APPARATUS

So today was the benefit for my dad and all went well. All i have to say is that kelsea rocks for driving me there. I do have to admit that the car ride over was very disturbing. Right before we got into cuero (which is like 20 minutes from victoria) there was the biggest infestation of those love bugs. They completely covered the front of kelz's car. So of course i had to take pictures for a better visual for you.

imagine the top part of that pic being what the entire windshield was covered in.

Yeah i know....GROSS!

So the benefit turned out okay. We sold over 1000 plates and it was cool. My mom will tell me the final total of how much we raised when they get everything figured out and logged and what not. I got to see a lot of my family and me and kelz found this hilarious...

my little cousin jeremiah was trying to drink out of this and his face was practically eaten by the cup.

Before we left
Victoria, kelz and i went and had a blast at Target. We tried on some hats.

Don't we look cute? I got to see Mike, Trent, and Dustin before target and it was cool...those guys havent changed since the a week ago when i last saw them. Daniel came and saw me when i was at target with kelz. He's lost a lot of weight and i am so proud of him. So it was a good day in victoria...and it doesnt happen much...so yeah.

So yeah i have some reading to get done. You kids have a good night and i will do the same. Peace out.



Wednesday, August 25, 2004

THE TERM THAT I AM LOOKING FOR IS...

RIDICULOUS.

So i have this poster that i just bought before i got here, it is posted to the left of my stop sign that i stole (different story).

Now everyone knows that i am straight and if you assumed differently then i could care less...honestly. I am very comfortable with my sexuality and i am also very open to homosexuality.

What i didnt know is that even on this very liberal campus there are still some people that are very closed minded to such things. What i also didnt realize is that one of those people just so happened to be roomed with me this year. *shrugs*

My roomie came up to me today crying and said...
- Liz, can i talk to you? (sobbing)
- Yeah, sure. (i turn down my stereo and was very sincere about it too)
- I know that you said that you werent a lesbian and all but this is still bothering me.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, the whole poster thing.
- Did you want me to take it down?
- No, that wont really help. Even though i know that you arent lesbian it bugs me and i cant sleep at night. (keep in mind that she is still crying)
- Whoa, are you serious?
- Yeah, so i talked to my mom about this and she is trying to get me a room change. She has been calling the hall director. i have some friends that live on the floor above us and they have an extra bed and i am going to see if there is anyway that i can move in with them.
- Okay, well if you think that will really help you that that is okay with me. Has this been bothering you the whole time?
- Yeah it has.
- Well, i wish you would have said something.

blah blah blah...there is more but that is the just of it.

So numero uno. What the fuck?! it is a -poster-! you cant sleep because of a poster?! that is Ridiculous.

Numero dos. Your mom is a bitch. The other day she came in here being all pushy and moving my shit around without my consent. Then she is just assuming that i am a lesbian so she wants her daughter moved to another room. I hope that she realizes that i can sue her ass for discrimination.

Numero tres. Even if i was a lesbian what am i gonna do? Jump on you in the middle of the night. You arent even close to my type.

I have been laughing about this all day with kelsea, kelly, nicole, kate, and even my dad. Now if my dad (who is also very conservative) can say that this is stupid and laugh about it then there is really something wrong in suburbia.

This girl is really sweet and i dont hate her or anything but damn you have to draw the line somewhere...a poster? come on. She has obviously had a -very- sheltered life back in little ol'
Gonzalez, TX.

I am glad that i havent put my ally sign up yet...come to think of it i will do that now. hehe i am so evil. I need to find it first. Screw them i am not going to stop my beliefs just because she cant sleep at night...she needs to realize that homosexuality -does- exist. She also needs to realize that she is in a college town that is -very- liberal. Moving out of this room is not going to help her escape it. If anything it would have helped her accept it. I dont want to have to be the one to burst her bubble so i will let her and her mother do as they want.

END OF STORY

There are some pictures up on photobucket of my cutie. message me for the password. peace out.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

IT REALLY MAKES ME WONDER WHAT THIS WORLD IS COMING TO WHEN A GUY IS AFRAID OF HIS OWN GIRLFRIEND

1. I finally have my internet working. It is so sad that i was almost driven to complete insanity without it. I just have to note that AIM on a cell phone sucks.

2. Congratulate me...i have lost 5 more pounds since two weeks ago. I know, I know...I rock. I have also been working out since i have gotten back. I am going to be one hot prom date. *winks*

3. Classes start tomorrow and i am really not looking forward to waking up so early.

4. My roomate has got to be by far the sweetest girl that i have ever met. I feel kinda bad because my futon takes up a lot of room but she really doesnt mind at all. When you walk in i take up about 2/3 of the room. My room is freaking cute as hell though. I also love my new poster. It is definitely a must to come and check it out sometime.

5. I am going out of town this weekend for my dad's benefit. Pray that all goes well.

6. Kelz, i am really glad that you have finally have a roomate that you like. All of that crap that you went through last year blew.

7. Matt, get better. I am so bummed out that you are sick and cant talk to me.



Saturday, August 21, 2004

ONCE UPON A TIME...

On the night of August the 17th 2004 (technically -early- in the morning on August the 18th 2004) at approximately 200 hours Central Standard Time. A group of friends were hanging out at Mike and Trent's Place.



Jerry (I call him chops) lived there too...



but he slept on the couch.



When Paul, Jennie and Liz arrived...



Trent said that Gabe, Audrey and Jacob were coming over.



Trent said that they were going to post these flyers in this city's uber-conservative's downtown.



(This one says 'Your tax dollars at work'and that is a dead person as a result of war.)



Oddly enough when they returned from their acts of mischeif, a weird middle-eastern guy with a thick accent named Addi (pronounced odd with an e or oddy) showed up.



He passed out on the couch when he came over because he was drunk and barred out on zanex. While he was sleeping we noticed that he had a booger coming out of his nose.



(Really it was a jalapeno that me and my partner in crime (
trent) stuck up there because his punk-ass fell asleep and thats not cool when you are supposed to come over to hang out.)

So Jerry decided that he wanted to help him get it out.



Now remember that i told you that this guy was really weird and after all he was middle-eastern. We left him alone for a few minutes and later found the 'Your tax dollars at work' flyer posted on him.



Trent then began to feel a sense of fear and decided to poke him with a stick.



So finally we got him to leave and we were no longer living in fear for the rest of the night.

THE END

*this was the picture post that i was talking about and i have finally completed it. Now it is time to load all of my stuff up. later.

Friday, August 20, 2004

PLEASE COME TO TEXAS

Yeah i am so 19 years and went to a pajama party last night. hehe. Timmy is gay and i guess that kinda helps explain the story. He wanted to have a pajama party for his birthday so we did. *shakes head* I cant even type all that happened last night because that would take up too much time. Let's just say that we had a blast but some people need to know their limits and watch their actions.

Timmy is throwing the combination going away party for me, jennie and paul. I think he said that he was paying for the keg too. *shrugs* It doesnt matter to me they are the ones drinking it...i dont like drinking. Footballs? Now, that's a differnt story. A story that is already being taken care of by Mike. I love him. We are going to take assloads of pics tonite so be expecting those on photobucket by like next week.

Today will be my last day at work. Thank God. That place is so boring. They are also throwing me a party. Nothing big its just people that i have amazingly made an impact on are getting me some presents and buying me dinner. I have only had that job for a month. I must be amazing then. I think they are getting pizza. *shrugs* I am allowed to cheat. I havent cheated on my diet in quite sometime. I will however miss the paychecks from that job, that had to be the best part.

I am going back to school tomorrow. I am so excited. Be excited! *does a cartwheel* I do have to admit that as much as i hate this place i am really gonna miss it. Well maybe not 'it' itself but i will miss the people. Only that ones that are cool. The ones that dont need to be here either.

I added a link to the side bar. The name of the band is Abervale Sky and they are really good. Check them out. I found them on my space. Well technically they found me but who cares? Their music rocks.

Alright, i have a picture post coming up and i probably wont put it up until tomorrow. I am having problems getting some of the pictures together. It is a really stupid story but i think that is what makes it so hilarious. It definitely well worth posting. K well i am tired and i want to take a nap before work.

See you tomorrow, hoes!


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

TAKE A CLOSER LOOK IN THAT MIRROR YOU LOVE SO MUCH

I met this guy the other night.
What a dick he was too.
His name doesn't matter because he is nothing but unimportance to a girl not unlike myself.
He had the biggest head in the world.
A head so big that it was shocking that he had the ability to stand up and converse with me as long as he did without tipping over.
He wasn't even close to attractive.
His personality bit the big one too.
I don't know where he found the room to talk.
It's almost as if there wasn't any.
He admitted to me his vanity.
The sad part was that he was proud of it.
*shakes her head*
Ridiculous is the only word that comes to mind.
So it gets better.
I was so fucked up that I actually listened to all of his nonsense.
He then got into this story about his ex.
A story that only demonstrated that he had major jealousy issues.
I couldn't help but to laugh at him.
I have a tendency to do and say what i feel when i am fucked up.
I am honest only because I hate liars.
Let me get down to the point.
Is it or is it not a contradiction to be completely vain but have jealousy issues?
Think about it.
Jealousy issues are derived from insecurities, are they not?
What does one have to be so insecure about if one is that vain?
I didn't even think this was possiblity.
Then again we live in this fucked up world.
There are some fucked up people.
All things are possible with even that.
So I called him stupid and just laughed.
Stupid people are so entertaining.
*laughs*
Someone had to say it.
Who better than me?

"Immersing yourself in a light where the mirror held by your manicured hand is your best friend, is laughable." -Jennie

She couldn't be more correct.
To hell with your vanity and your jealousy.


ISN'T THAT A CONTRADICTION?

So yesterday was my only day off of work because i worked overtime on sunday. No complaints here, i made 12 bucks an hour.

I got to hang out with my buddy matt
, and there is good reasoning for not seeing him that much lately, so it was good to see him.

I really miss my best friend jason. I got to talk to him on the phone the other day and he is up in
denton trying to get himself settled. He's homesick, i know he is i can hear it in his voice, and i really want to see him. I havent seen him since easter and with all of this crap that has been happening seeing him would make me really happy. No offense to anyone else i mean i love you all but he is like a brother to me and i love him so much. This is a pic of him and his cute ass girlfriend heather.



So i went and saw his parents yesterday. We talked about jason and me and school. *shrugs* you know, the usual. They also bought tickets from me for the benefit. Hopefully jason will make it that weekend so that i can see him.

I ran into
Brent yesterday at bennagins when i was picking up mike. I talked to him for a few minutes and it was cool i guess. I also saw him on my birthday at Denny's but i didnt really talk to him that much. What he doesnt know is that i had a really big crush on him when we had calculus and health together senior year. I just really admired him because he was so fucking smart and played soccer. Let me not forget to mention that he was hilarious too. His jew jokes are really mean though. So there i said it. I had a crush on you, brent. I am so jealous of him because he got to back to school today (UT). *shakes her fist* Oh well.

Yay! I got my shoes in the mail yesterday! These are the ones that i decided to get since they didnt have my first choice. They are still cute as fuck though. This is definitely one of the best presents that i got for my birthday. Thanks kelly, james, and of course kelz and your mom too. I love you all.



I did a whole lot more packing yesterday and i am so ready to go back. I need to get away from here. I have done entirely too much partying and now its study time. I do have to admit that i had a lot of fun this summer. I met some great guys (Mike, Trent, Jerry, and Rene) i have met some others but none that i have really made a connection with. Rene is a music nazi and really angers me because he said that Atreyu sucks. I ought to kick his ass...i bet i could. He also blew me off last night after he told me that Coheed and
Cambria sucks. What the hell is that all about?! Now i am really gonna kick some ass. *shakes her fist*

4 days, hoes.
4 days. :D



Sunday, August 15, 2004

I ONLY WANT REVENGE

Last night I went and hung out at mike's place, Rene's place and went to Denny's. We had so much fun. This morning i woke up and i felt so gross. My brother made me drink a beer. It was only one but still i feel gross. I was already messed up because of other things and then that hoe put a beer in my hand and tapped it so then i had to drink. Everyone knows that i hate drinking.

Some time last night i was branded by mike. I think it was when i was laying on the couch completely out of it and thinking about the wonderful mysteries of the world. hehe. Mike told me that i am his. So yes i belong to mike now. Sorry to anyone else that i have promised myself to. This is the evidence that i am now owned by the coolest black man in the world.

Is there something wrong with that situation? Shouldn't it be the other way around? LOL J/K I am such and ass but i really do love that kid. I shouldn't call him kid because he is 24; i am the kid in this situation. Mike is the one that drew my badass pic in the background.

I put some more pics up on photobucket. There is one of mike in the 'victoria' folder. There is a new folder called 'BruiseMeBeatMe' and that one has pics of like scars/bruises and i will add more to that one as i get some. I have this weird fettish with thinking that stuff like that looks cool i guess. I also added a few more pics from my birthday and i still have to add like 7 more i think. That folder is called 'OhHappyDay'. I still have warped tour pics to put up but i think i am going to wait to do that for next weekend when i am at school and have super duper fast internet. Dial up sucks. I have like maybe 40 or 50 pics from warped tour and to put them on the net with the connection i have would take 0777 hours.

I added a shitload of links, most of them being bands that i absolutely love and some other things under the boredom list. So this thing is no longer under construction. I will probably add some more link later but i have to go through my cd case and get the bands that i forgot to mention.

Well i need to get to work. I have done nothing here except work on this blog and i have to get something done. Yay for overtime being 12 dollars an hour.

6 more days, hoes! 6 more days. :D




JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES


I AM 53% EMO!

53% EMO

Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater.

Take the EMO test at Fuali.com



So i am really not as emo as you think i am, but yes i am emo if you must categorize me.

Work gets really boring and i found this on the internet. Do it and lets see if you hoes are emo too.


Saturday, August 14, 2004

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

So the sidebar stuff will now be a little different and will have many more links. Most of them are the bands that i absolutely love but the others are for my buddies and fun stuff to do when you are bored or just whenever.

Has anyone ever heard of the reject hotline? It is so fucking hilarious. My friend Daniel told me about it and he gave me the phone number. Anytime that someone who is just really appalling to you and asks for your number give them this: (713)866-6249.
Call it and i bet your ass that you will laugh. I am in the process of putting up the link for their website under my boredom links.

Join myspace.com (I will also add this to my boredom links) It's way cool and i have met some cool guys. There is a my space for Matchbook Romance! Yay! So it will be a great way to keep updated along with the emails that i already get. Speaking of them the concert for Taking Back Sunday/Atreyu/Matchbook Romance/Fall Out Boy is on the 24th of October. Be excited...be really fucking excited!

I never mentioned what my new background is all about. I have this friend named mike (
Trent
's best friend, trent is the one that i am all gah gah over) who is a fucking amazing guy! Mike is really artistic and can draw just about anything that you ask him to. Jennie told him a few weeks ago that he needed to draw our names for us. He calls them 'tags' so that is my tag that he drew for me. It says my name and then it has that badass sun in the back with bubbles. I love how detailed he is because i think the sun came out just amazing. I am going to get a tatoo of just the sun but i am going to have him re-draw it and add color. If you want to see the pic by itself then go to my photobucket and its there.

So work is boring which is why i have decided to do all of this shit to my site. I like making improvements and i love having things in alpha order. *giggles* I am such a fucking dork. I am still feeling a little fucked up from last night (footballs are great) and its sucks having to be indoors when i feel like this. I need to be out doing something fun.

Oh By The Way. Last night was so much fun! I needed that so much because of the crap ass week that i have had. I love my friends, they are throwing me a going away party. I am gonna miss them but i would much rather be in
San Marcos
anyday. One week, hoes! One Week.


Friday, August 13, 2004

ONE WEEK FROM HELL AND A BOTTLE OF VODKA

I went to my doctor appointment this morning and lets just say that i am more pissed off now than what i have been in that last couple of days. So yay i lost 36 pounds and yeah i am going to keep it up. So what about the money that the mofo promised me? Guess what? I am not getting it. He is such an asshole. I worked my ass off for that money and i am not getting it?!?! This is just great. Lets just add the cherry on the top of the scoops of shit that has happened this week. I should have punched him.

That bastard never once mentioned to me that this weight loss thing that i am doing is a contest with -all- of his patients. It was my understanding as well as my mothers that it was just for us (my family). I told him today that he should have clarified that before. So now i dont think i am going to get that money, supposedly there are other people that have lost a lot of weight too. We will just have to see next Friday when the contest ends. I am going to work my ass off a whole lot harder this week now that i dont have my morning job anymore.

Sorry about my most recent posts being venting posts, it must suck to hear me bitch all of the time. I just can't wait to get back to school. I need to get away from all of this. ALL OF IT! I'm going out tonite and i am going to have a great time. I WILL HAVE A GREAT TIME. *breathes* okay, so i will talk to yall later? great. later.


Thursday, August 12, 2004

BEAT ME, BRUISE ME.

My dad is still in the hospital but hopefully he will be getting out soon. Yesterday something went wrong in the surgery and they found out that the problem was a lot bigger than what they thought. They put him in ICU immediately after so i was kinda worried. I left work early and drove over there where i spent most of my afternoon till i had to go to my second job. He made excellent progress so they put him in a room later that evening.*Rasies her glass* A Toast to the Arredondos (in Victoria) for being some strong ass mofos! *chugs her water* what? all i can drink is water. I was at work when they put him in a room so i didnt know that he was doing a lot better till i got home last night.

They might let him out today. I hope so at least, my dad is like me, he would rather be home than there...but then again who wouldn't? I am going to try and see him before i head over to work.

The good news that does matter...
I am going back school. I will always feel some guilt for leaving my family here in this bind but my mom is right. I need to go and finish because i dont need to get stuck here like the rest of them. My family will make out okay...they always do...maybe because my mom has that direct connection with God. *winks* My mom is a strong ass mofo too, she may not be an Arredondo by blood but she is still an Arredondo, dammit.

Well, tomorrow is the day. The day that my whore of a doctor is going to hand over a check made out to me in the amount of 390 dollars. I took him up on his 'challenge' and i have lost just over 30 pounds. Let this be a lesson to all to never challenge me...it won't work. He thought that i wasnt going to be able to do it. Fuck him, because i did and fuck you if you doubted me.

:D later.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

ALTERATIONS TO THE HEART.

My dad is going into surgery in a few hours and i can't sleep. This isn't the surgery that we have been preparing for either. He had a check up on monday (for the surgery that is coming up) and well, come to find out they found something else that needs to be worked on ASAP.

Up until yesterday i have been thinking about withdrawing from school. *sighs* shit, with all of this crap that is happening to my family what the hell am i supposed to do? stay selfish, go to school, and just leave them in this bind? Fuck no. So i talked to my mom yesterday. She saw me cleaning my room and she knew that something was wrong. As i have said before I only do my intense cleaning with my stereo on loud when i am -really- pissed off and thinking about something.

When she came in i lowered the volume on my stereo and couldn't help but cry. I hate being so emotional but this cuts deeper than anything i have cried over and about before. This is my future vs my family and i am so torn. My mom basically told me that she is making me go back to school. As much as i want to...i dont know if i will allow myself to.

Even if i do go back i dont know how well i am going to do. I will be worrying all the time. I cant afford to have my GPA drop either. I mean i can, i just dont want it to. I am seriously thinking about picking up the phone right now and withdrawing over cats. I know then my mom cant tell me no because she is asleep. cats is automated and it will be done just like that...with the snap of my fingers.

Since i am bitching and venting let me not forget to mention that the benefit isnt going as well as we would have hoped. There for a minute i was thinking that life was going great and now this. Another fucking roller coaster ride of life. Here i go again with a downfall.

As for the good news (the part that doesnt really matter)...i have lost the full 30 pounds that i intended to lose. woo fucking hoo. let me do a cartwheel. wait...i have never been able to do one. I dont know how much more enthusiastic i can be about it then.

I really miss jason, I need him so much right now. GOD I FUCKING HATE FEELING LIKE THIS! I am going to attempt to sleep. I have to go to both of my jobs tomorrow.


Monday, August 09, 2004

UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER

Alright so it is already going to be like 7 in the morning, my dad just left for work and i am just getting home. Okay so not just getting home but i did like an hour and a half ago maybe even two. I stay up entirely too late.

There is a reason for staying up tonight though. I was pissed of about something again and I walked into my room and i realized that i had a lot of shit on my bed that i needed to organize and i had the ugre to clean. Ususally when i come in i will throw everything on the floor until the next day and then clean it. For those of you who know me well enough know that i will sometimes go on cleaning sprees to get some things off of mind and think about other stuff.

My Cds needed some reorganization because i got a new cd from Atreyu that my bro bought for me for my late Birthday present. So of course because i have -all- of my Cds in alpha order i had to move every cd over. *shrugs* At least it wont drive me insane now that it is all in order. I can't wait till i get to see Atreyu when they play with Matchbook Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Taking Back Sunday this fall. I am so fucking excited.

So now for the bad news. *sighs* I really miss my hoes. That would include: Kelz, Kelly, Christine, Nicole, Philster, Shawn, Steven, Michelle and Gabe. I told most of you that i would be going back the day that the dorms open but i cant now. :( My dad gave me the option of the 20th or the 21st and then my mom butted in and said that we should go on the 21st so then she could go because she is off that day. So i will be returning on Saturday the 21st. I am -so- bummed out about that. I really want to go back and get out of this God forsaken town. I miss
San Marcos but most of all I miss the people. To put the cherry on top, i was on the website the other day for school and i saw that RecJam this year is free for everyone and Blue October is playing. Guess what. That show is on the 20th. So, I cant go. I wish i could go on that wednesday because my life would be great if i could. I will get over it. Later.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

EVERY DAY I FEEL SORRIER FOR YOU

*laughs*
Unbelievable. No - Inconceivable! (Ripped from the movie The Princess Bride)
There are many tricks to life.
Tricks I am just starting to figure out.
Take a look at everything close-up.
You will only forget about the bigger picture.
That's a guarantee with a lifetime warranty.
Bury yourself in the details.
That's the shortcut to closing the door, of course.
Never forget that Noise is what defines silence.
Would silence be considered gold if noise ceased to exist?
Things will sometimes go good.
Things will only seem bad all the time because you take the good for granted.
Tetris is a great necessity in life if you want to know how life operates.
Think about it.
You are handed pieces that need to form some sort of object, this being life.
What you do with that piece determines what accomplishment comes to you, this being levels and points.
You will fuck up.
Another guarantee I make, you see.
Not all the time will life give you what you want.
There is no way to not deal with what is given.
It has to be played somehow.
There -is- always the chance to fix it though.
So don't even let the fuck ups worry you.
Life goes on.
So there...that's that.
Suprised?
I didn't think so.
Have a nice life.
Play tetris.



TO THE GUY I WILL NEVER HAVE.

Every piece of perfection that I know exists, I find in you.
Perfection that only you can possess.
I know this is nothing new to you.
You must hear it all the time.
Only to hear it from me too.
Forgive me,
Trent, but this is what I feel.
Feelings should never be held back.
I have learned that the hard way.
I have nothing to lose.
There is only a possibility to gain.
Having you confide in me that night, I felt a force that is just unexplainable.
A connection, I guess, like the one you spoke of.
Although this connection might be misleading me into a different direction than that of yourself.
I only wish for the chance to have you as my own.
I regret that this may all be one big fantasy growing within my head.
You only further intrigue me with your thoughts and ambitions.
Your mind challenges mine in a way that no other can.
It is this in which makes me contain such feelings.
You will reach people.
You will succeed.
Most of all you know who you are and what you want.
With that no one can tell you it's impossible.
Because of all this, my admiration for you will only continue to blossom.
You will go far,
Trent.
You will go far.

- FROM THE GIRL THAT CAN ONLY DREAM



Friday, August 06, 2004

NOTHING MAKES SENSE THESE DAYS

A man walked up to me today.
No - he strolled.
"Hello," he greeted.
I looked up at him and replied,"Hi," as I replaced my eyes on the ground and continued to walk.
He stopped and turned around.
He called, "Excuse me, miss!"
I turned around, "yes, sir?"
"How old are you?" he asked.
"19 years young," I said.
"Familiar is the word that comes to mind," he said, "you look familiar to me."
"Then why, sir, do you ask me my age and not my name?" I asked.
He shrugged, "Just to know if maybe I have seen you at a local bar or something."
"Not too much around here," I replied, "bars are overrated here and I hate the smell of cigarettes; even worse I hate smelling of them."
"You know, you've lost a lot of weight since I have last seen you."
"Yes sir I have," I responded, "27 pounds so far this summer and still trucking it."
"How is it that you have lost so much in the past 2 to 3 months that I have seen you?" he asked, "What is your secret? Anorexia or Bulimia?"
I chuckled and responded.
"Red pill or blue?
Fuck them both.
Anorexia will only make you weak.
You will look gross and see nothing but your skeleton when you look in the mirror.
And bulimia?
That is even more appalling in every way shape and form.
Learning to love the smell of vomit is ludicrous.
Plus I like my teeth; I have no intention of ruining them.
You know what resembles bulimia when I think about it?
When an eagle feeds its young.
The only difference is that an eagle only does it for the survival of its offspring.
A person does it because of looks.
Because pleasing everyone else that thinks they are 'fat' is what they want.
How shallow can you be?
Fuck them both; the person telling them that shit and the person that is becoming shit.
Fuck anorexia.
Fuck bulimia.
It's only for the weak, stupid, and the ones that are sick in the fucking head.
As a matter of fact, while we're on it, fuck you for thinking it.
Fuck you for assuming that I am that of what I stated.
Most of all fuck you because you don't know me.
I have no idea who the hell you are!
You speak to me as if you know me and you can only say that I am familiar.
Who are you anyway?!?"
"I am you," he said, "I am you."
*fade to black*

Thursday, August 05, 2004

GIVE ME A REASON TO HATE YOU

Like a puzzle, piece by piece the picture envisioned within my head has begun to come together.
Finally, the challenge that I have been awaiting.
These conversations over beliefs, books, and of course, politics.
*sighs* God, its what I've wanted.
You amaze me with your words as well as your thoughts.
'To hell with being greedy, it's for the weak.'
You couldn't be more right.
Those words, written by your own hands, only crushed me more.
People like you don't belong here.
Victoria's simplicity as a whole is far below the level of a person such as yourself.
Who would have thought?
Someone so great brought up in a place such as this?
It makes very little sense or even none at all.
You only prove my thoughts of this place to be wrong.
My stereotype of this place has been flushed away because you exist.
So you?
A reason to stay?
Of course.
But will I?
I wish but I cant.
Please don't think for one second that it's that I don't want you.
Cause God knows that I do.
I only have two more weeks.
It is then that I will return.
Return to my love.
The city of
San Marcos.
The place I know I belong.
There is a reason I ended up there instead of UT.
Know this much...
The months, they won't matter.
It's the days I won't bare.
Not even these words describe how perfect you are.
Only my eyes see it.
Only my eyes.



TO KEEP OR NOT TO KEEP? THAT IS THE QUESTION.



They got the wrong ones. What do you think?

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Tres Cosas

*I usually don't do these but it is really boring here at work and this is to help pass the time.

Three things that scare me:
1: Becoming completely vain.
2: Becoming obnoxious.
3: Your face. Ooooh!

Three people who make me laugh:
1. Jason Camacho (my bestest best friend)
2. My
Texas State
Friends
3. My Brother Lawrence

Three Things I love:
1: you
2: music
3: myself

Three Things I hate:
1: Stupidity
2: Liars
3: When someone calls the cops on a birthday party out of hatred for one person that is in attendance. (Melanie) Lesbians are so jealous and dramatic.

Three things I don't understand:
1: Crazy People. (Melanie and some other people come to mind. *looks around*)
2: How you can enjoy Anthropology. (not to mention any names or anything...*cough* Kelly! *cough*)
3: The existence of cellulite and menestration periods.

Three things I'm doing right now:
1: Playing with my lip ring.
2: Working (not really...waiting to get a phone call and might get in trouble if I get caught posting this.)
3: Freezing my ass off.

Three things I want to do before I die:
1: Bungee jump.
2: Sky dive.
3: Have sex with Johnny Depp. (So i can live with the fact that this is not gonna happen but I will settle for Edward Norton. *winks*)

Three things I can do:
1: Get my nipples pierced and not be a pussy about it.
2: Pen twirls.
3: Whoop your ass.

Three things I can't do:
1: Swim across the ocean. (I might die.)
2: Have meaningless sex. *shrugs* I can't do it captain! I don't have the power!
3: Drive a motorcylce or my bro's bike. I will learn though...I WILL!

(Like the theif I am, I have stolen this from Kelz and Kelly.)

Monday, August 02, 2004

TOO HILARIOUS TO NOT POST

My little sister Anna, got this trucker hat the other day that my olser sister Grace bought for her. My bro and I were talking about how stupid it was to own one of those and so we were making fun of it. I love it when i go to shows and you see like -every- guy wearing one of those but of course it must be cocked to the side.

I will admit to liking emo music and being 'emo' if you must put me in a category but if you knew my bro you would just laugh your ass off. I guess that is most of the reason as to why i found this so hilarious. We will just call him "Mr. Ozzfest".

Here are the pics:


What was really funny was before i took the pic my bro said, "wait...is it cocked to the side enough?"


So there. I hope you found it just as funny as we did. Anna, we arent making fun of you. We know that the only reason you have one is because you are obsessed with bam margera. I laugh at those people that walk around with the ashton kutcher/justin timberlake John Deere ones though. I love you kid!

So i didnt have to go to work. Them bitches changed my schedule on friday (my bday when i called in) and didnt call and let me know. *punches them* later.




OBSESSIONS

I found a new band to obsess over. When I got my Taking Back Sunday CD it came with a compilation CD with 5 songs on it. Hawthorne Heights, Atreyu, Bayside, Silverstien and Action Action make-up the CD. I am listening to Hawthorne Heights right now and I just love them. The name of the song is "Ohio is for lovers'. If you like anything remotely close to the same music that I like then download this song! You won't regret it.

They remind me a little of A Static Lullaby so if you like those guys then you should like these guys. I actually like them a lot better than I did A Static Lullaby when I first heard them. I know that Glasseater is coming to
Victoria sometime this week and when I went to the website for this band I saw that they are touring together (Glasseater and Hawthorne Heights). *crosses fingers* I hope they come.

Bayside was here the other week but I was busy :( I really wanted to see them too. They did a split ep with Name Taken (who I also absolutely love). I met the bassist (from Bayside) though...he was at Denny's after the show. I have heard Arteyu before and there are only a select few songs that I enjoy from them. However Silverstien is really good. I love
Hawthorne Heights though. *drools*

I just found out in an email that Matchbook Romance is coming out with a split CD with the band Motion City Soundtrack. If you have heard my voicemail than you have heard MCS. The name of that song is "Capital H". Man there are so many great things with my favorite bands happening. It's so exciting. I especially can't wait for the Matchbook Romance/Fall Out Boy/Taking Back Sunday tour this fall. :D

I have to get ready for work where i will spend all of my night until
11:30pm. What great fun. :/ I didn't intend for this post to be this long so..Peace out.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

YOU'RE UNINVITED

I had a great fucking birthday. I got to see Kelsea, Kelly, James and Nicole. We had so much fun just laughing at stupid people and stupid things. It was a bummer only because Phil was planning on coming too but he thought that my party was on saturday. Neither me or Kelz even knew that he was in San Marcos this past weekend or she would have brought him too. Sorry Phil. FOr those of you who called to tell wish me a Happy Birthday...Thanks. It really did mean a lot to me and it shows that you care.

I did get my nipples pierced but i am not stupid enough to take a picture of my boobs and put them on the internet. Ask me to see them and i will show you if i know you well enough. *winks* Apparently i know too many people bceause a lot of people got to see my boobs. The party was fun but it is too much to explain in a blog so ask me about it sometime and i will tell you the story.

Here are some of the things that i got:

This wallet and the cute socks i got from jennie.





I got the matching purse to the wallet from Danielle and Lindsey.



Of course this was a must since it just came out 3 days before my bday. It's not as good as the first one but still a good CD. What makes this even cooler is that i just got an email saying that Matchbook Romance and Fall Out Boy will be touring with TBS in the fall. Rock. I am so there.



I went to Old Navy the other day to get some jeans (i needed some because i dropped a pant size) and i saw these shoes and just had to get them. Cute as hell.



I got some other things that i didn't take pics of only because i am lazy. Nicole got me some cute earings that i have been wanting for a while. Mike gave me the new Thursday CD. My brother is getting me the first Coheed and Cambria CD. My Sister got me the movie Big Fish. I also got some birthday cards and money. Daniel got me something great too but not to be mentioned on the internet. All in all my birthday was great fun. For those of you who missed it...it's your own damn fault!

I put some more pics up on photobucket from the party. The album name is 'Oh Happy Day'. There are more to come i just need to get jennie to give me the ones that they have on her digital camera. Maybe one day when i am not being lazy i will put the pictures from warped tour up too.

I am gonna go and shower...i just got through working out. Peace out, yo.