Friday, April 30, 2004

"Damn it feels so good to be a gangster." - Geto Boys (sorry i watched office space last night)

- Hey who are you talking to?
- Oh ThisLizGirl

So i am really tired...this whole week has been tiring for me and i just woke up from a nap. I hate being poor...i -hate- it. Anywho, this is why.
Vallejo is playing at Lucy's tonite and well, i -really- wanted to go...but guess what i cant! oh well shit happens right? So now i dont know what i am going to do tonite...Steven said something about a party, but whats the point. I dont drink anymore and i cant get high either. When you have to babysit; parties get old real fast, I can only tolerate being at one for so long. So this means that i am going to have to go desperate measures...wait no it doesnt. I am just going to watch a movie or something and stay bored...maybe i will read a new book...or play nintendo....or start the studying process for finals. I wish that Gabe could hang out with me there is only a like two more weekends...and i havent hung out with him in a while. Sux. oh well. Yeah yeah i know he is probably busy but he lives on the floor below me and its not too hard to hang out...it never was before. I dont like extending invites to him and he can never make it...i wish he could sometime. I miss him, I have fun when i hang out with him. K well i guess i am going to start my night of non-interesting, same, old shit. Peace out, Yo!


Thursday, April 29, 2004

First: why in the hell are you reading this?

Second: Read Choke!

Third: I hate you.

Fourth: I am tired.

Fifth: 2 more days of work!

Sixth: Older Brother and Sister suck.

Seventh: Come and watch Office Space tonite in my room, BITCH...all invited!


Wednesday, April 28, 2004

"The only frontier left is the world of intangibles, ideas, stories, music, art." - Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

So who wants to buy Big Fish for me on DVD? Anyone? Anyone?

Someone brought to my attention yesterday that it is seen as an accomplishment when you finish reading a book and i started to think about that and he was totally right. Its sad really that it is like that but that is not the point...point is that i finished that damn awesome addicting book! I am not going to say what happens...even though i am kinda still putting things together myself when i think about it more...everyone just has to read it.

Anywho...my best friend martin came in from
San Antonio
today to hang out with me for a bit. That was exciting...it was good to see him. So i didnt go to work because he came... so that was cool.

Hung out with Steven for a bit again today...and here is once again another direct quote. "Liz is cool as shit, Amanda, your gonna love her." Man it is stuff like that that makes me feel great. :-D

Man it sux when you cant fall asleep at night. I was up till like 4 but i did get up at 8 and go to my classes this morning and i have still not taken a nap...i know i know...what!? Crazy...huh? I aint gonna lie though i am tired as fuck and the OC is coming on and then i am going to watch a movie with the peeps later...Office Space...yeah i know great movie. If it wasnt for my addiction to tetris on old school nintendo and that book that i finally finished i could have taken a nap...oh well.



So i learned some more about the Patriot Act today in class...fuck the people who think that they can pass laws that go against our civil liberties...damn conservatives...maybe my dad should read this...he hates that i am a liberal. hehe i think it great.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Check out the new layout...isnt it cool? Thanks Kelz, you are way awesome for doing my blog you will now be called the blog master!

Hats off to this amazing author...and i will be reading all of his books now...including fight club because i have only seen the movie. I estimate that i will have this book completely read by tomorrow...tonite really because i am so addicted to it. I was even reading it while i was working out. If only there was a way to read it when you are taking a shower...i will have to ponder on that for a while.

You wanna hear something funny...and this is a direct quote.
"What?! I didn't know that you could burn a burned cd! There are -so- many things that i want to do with my life now." - Carolyn (my oh so helpless roomie)

So i am the master at tetris on old school nintendo...i beat all the old scores...the crappy thing is that every time you turn it off it wont save the new scores...so everytime you turn it on to play again you get the same challenge of beating the game...so it is cool i guess. yeah i know i am a dork.

His name is Edd and man is he hott...his name is Edd.

Only 3 days left of work! thank god.


Monday, April 26, 2004

'You gain power by pretending to be weak. By contrast, you make people feel so strong. You save people by letting them save you.' - Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

man oh man is the book that i am reading addicting or what...i cant put it down. You know i took it with me today when i joined nicole and kelz for lunch and kelz got pissed because i was reading while they were eating and she wanted to talk. Nicole read the first chapter of it and she already wants to see if the library has it. It was only the other night...saturday night...when i was only on chapter 7 and now i am on 26...man the theories that they have make so much sense but in a really fucked up mind frame. I estimate that i will have it done no later than wednesday before the OC. hehe.

I got to watch kill bill at work today...so time went by fast...this is my last week and thank god it is. I am so sick of that place...the people...and the job itself. I do however need to start packing up some things that i dont need to get ready to move out of action jackson and i need to start studying for my finals (that should be easy). What a suprise...i went and worked out today...so now i am in a good mood. Except that i had a cough attack in the middle of my workout...i didnt think that i could do as much as i normally do since i havent worked out in like 2 weeks, but i did it all. yay me. life is the same i guess no different than what it usually is so yeah...later.


Sunday, April 25, 2004

Torture is torture and humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer.

So i started reading this really great book today called Choke and i really like it so far...i have only read like maybe 6 or 7 chapters but it is really interesting. That is where the quote from above comes from, so anyway, this book is by the same guy that wrote Fight Club his name is Chuck Palahnuik, so of course you have to think that this book will be good. This is a satire and i am a big fan of satires...like um...A Modest Proposal or Gullivers Travels....great... just great stuff.

You know what is really funny?
i have been called many things in my life...everyone has...and it has never really bothered me.
i have been called anything from a bitch to even a skank.
so here is the funny part....
just recently like maybe within the past few months i have been called a skank a few times.
ha! funny...right? no. not really.
now the person that has been calling me this is someone that i have never met or talked to in my entire life and yet they still insist on calling me this.
I would totally talk to this person about this and be an adult about the situation but you know...i cant, i have no way of communicating with this person since i dont know them on a personal level...and have none of their info.
now this is where it gets good...
most of you may know that i dont care what people think of me...well, then why is this an issue, right?
here is the thing, this person that calls me this is someone that is -very- well acquainted with someone that i call my friend and a good one at that.
so this is where it gets even better....
if this friend is totally aware of this person calling me a skank all the time...then my question to that person is... why dont you say something along the lines of ..."you dont know them so dont say things like that"
i mean afterall that would be the thing that most people would do, right?
if they were really your friend?
So is this person really my friend...or am i once again "over reacting"?
So here is the thing...it is not that this person calls me a skank that bothers me...trust me i could care less...like i said people call me things all the time.
what bothers me is that i have a friend that doesnt take up for me and i dont think that i have given them any reason not to...i dont see why they wouldnt especially since i would take up for them...and i actually have...several times.
So maybe i should confront this friend and let them know that it bothers me...truth is that i dont want to...it seems that everytime i do confront them about something i never get anything resolved...they always win...they -are- always right.

Do -you- see where i am coming from? You know who you are. Dont get me wrong my intentions are not to make you pissed off because i hate it when you are pissed at me or anyone at that ...i just want you to know what i mean.

So, viewers, am i totally off and over reacting?


Saturday, April 24, 2004

Does it not make me a great fucking friend that i have been there for you the whole time?

So there have been a lot of things that i have realized too.
here they are...
-I- respect myself and know what trust is...and i find it funny that you would even mention that from someone who has 'never asked for it'. Who is -anyone- to judge? If anything you judge yourself and the words come out of your -own- mouth. Yes, i agree everyone is allowed to make mistakes and yes, people do learn from them but you also have to know that a lot of the time those mistakes are repeated and turn into a habbit but i am not saying that it will i am just warning. No. No one is perfect. No one is or was trying to make you feel bad and i hope that you can understand that, if anything it was your own guilt that might have done that. Please all i ask is that you will just next time say this instead of blogging it so that i dont have to feel 'guilty' about this...


cut my nails off....man it is soo much easier to type without nails in the way.
anywho you know what really agrivates the fuck out of me....when i have a cd that doesnt want to play in the cd player so i have to play it in the dvd player. eh oh well.

so i am a little bummed...relay for life was canceled because of the weather...pussies i would have stayed out there... oh well i still had fun and they still got thier money so its all good. man i think that it was a sign that i should sleep or something...who knows.

i was a little excited...this guy that i have been hanging out with all week...steven....he did really well on his speech ...i am glad that i helped him and i am glad that we got to hang out...he is fun and cool....and man is he popular as fuck...he knows so many people...he's mexican though...so no one get the wrong idea...hehe. man i am a racist bitch.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

i fucking hate this...
i fucking hate it i tell you.
i fucking hate the way that it makes me feel.
i fucking hate not being able to be there.
i just fucking hate how its all different.
but i dont hate you.


Tuesday, April 20, 2004

I got this in an email today and i thought that it was amusing...its a poem for females because we are awesome. Some of these things dont deal with a gal like me but there are a few things that do.

A poem for us....
I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
Any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
But a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
Without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
About the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
And yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
To others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
At any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
Admitting I'm lost.
I never forget,
An important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies,
With lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
To remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL,
a BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN.
Get it? You DICK!!


~burps~
excuse me.
have i ever told yall how much i really hate my job?
well i am sitting here and i think that this is the time that i realize it the most.
with the bitch boss sitting not even 20 feet from me.
die.


Monday, April 19, 2004

hey.
do you remember that one time?
when i was really tired?
i had pulled an all-nighter.
yeah...that was a confusing day for me.
i lied next to you in your bed.
you were asleep.
or were you?
did you feel my heart?
did you feel how fast it was beating?
~sigh~
i would give anything to feel that way again.
~chuckles~
oh well.

"If I could somehow make you mine." - Saves the Day
you know those songs that you know that you really like and there is one particular quote that you sing from it all the time? well, this quote from this song has been in my head all freaking day...so now it will have to be in yours when you read it!

so today was long...we drove to victoria (me and nicole) to drop off the popcorn machine (at least her car doesnt smell anymore) and we ate at bennigans. I saw daniel and jennie for a few minutes. I got to see my parents they came and met us there. It was pretty cool i guess...my mom cried a couple of times she was really bummed out about my cousin having AIDS. I can see why though...it really does suck. we came back here and i put some more finishing touches on my speech...it is coming out pretty good and i got some good compliments on my speaking skills as well as my speech when i did my briefing in class on friday....it was mostly bullshit so i guess that its a good thing that they liked what i had? i went to jones with kelz man was i out of it...it was cool though. i totally whooped her on golf ...thats because i am getting better and she is whack! hehe. So all in all today was an average day i guess and now i am gonna try to get some sleep because there is a lot to do tomorrow. well, technically today but i would still like to think that it is sunday. maybe i will pray before i go to bed...there are a lot of people in my family that need them...hehe not that you care about me praying...maybe i should sleep though because when i read this tomorrow i will think to myself...why the hell did i write that...they dont care. okay..yeah i am just gonna stop...right now.


Sunday, April 18, 2004

so okay i was in a pretty fucking crazy mood today i was pissed off because of a few things. I am so glad that i have the parents that i do. I was being an ass to some people that are really important to me and i think i apologized twice but now that i have calmed down, i was thinking about it and i still feel pretty bad. I wasnt upset at them or with them i was upset because of the stupidity of the people that i am related to. Yesterday afternoon (friday) before i went to work i found out from my sister that one of my cousins has AIDS...oddly enough his brother died from AIDS a few years back...you would think that he would learn...but no. so then thats not all...i just found out from my bro on the phone yesterday night that my other cousin got his girlfriend knoked up...now listen to this...this guy is currently on probation for possession of marijuana and he has been graduated from high school for a while and dropped out of college after like maybe a year. He is currently working two jobs to support himself and his habbits...he lives with our aunt and uncle (not his parents) and he does nothing to better himself as a person and now he has a kid coming into this world. It really upsets me because it is everything that i am against as a person and yet it is happening within my own family...i preach about it to everyone and i dont think that i do it enough with my family. I know it cant be my fault but sometimes i think you know i try to help other people...people that i dont know...but i cant do it when it hits close to home....does it make me a bad person....dammit life sux.

Friday, April 16, 2004

so i was on my way back to the dorm after an exciting day at work (i hope you could see the sarcasm in that) and i was coming up the hill...you know the big ass one...i saw two guys...holding hands. I was so excited because i dont think that i have seen that on this campus untill today. It makes me happy when there are people who dont care what everyone else will think or the looks that they will get. It makes me happy to see that they can be happy with each other. I honestly believe that gay marriage should be allowed and i dont think that it should be looked down on. I am really pissed that i couldnt make it to that debate on gay marriage...what kind of an ally am i?

so anyway...i got my earlobes peirced today (the second one)...yay! it sux though because i really want to put in this new pair that i got but i have to wait a while...damn infections...if it wasnt for that i would do it. well...whatever...i'm all out of things to say...bye.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

what the fuck does all of this mean?
ahhh.
what the hell is that smell?
a rat?
you rat!
what the hell is this.
care bears i tell you it is all about the care bears.
no.
thundercats...maybe gargoyles.
grill cheese sandwich!
what is this shit on my face...who is that in my bed?
fucking headache!
damn these headaches damn them all to hell i tell you!
i cant see straight.
amnesia.
thats the answer its all amnesia!



TODAY...

today sucked i was busy as hell...didnt go to work though...thats always good the only thing that wont be good is that paycheck that i will be getting...eek! oh well. tired...sick...still have a fucking cough!

damn these re-occuring dreams that i am having...it is annoying when they are so great and then your fucking alarm goes off and you are just like...dammit it was only a dream why cant it really be happening....that or....why did i have to wake?

ran into a bunch of people from my high school today, that was...enjoyable...yeah right.

anywho...i dont want to type anymore i havent been doing so well on the keyboard today...plus nothing interesting happened...later haters.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Due to recent events of a lot of shit going down in my life i am gald that i have great friends...look at this comment that one of my only best female friends left me...

hey chicky. im sorry we couldnt hang out more then we did. maybe next time you come down we can have more fun. i really do miss you but im glad your exactly where you want to be. i really do envy you. i wish you the best of luck even though you dont need it. you a great girl and an awsome friend. luv ya
jennie*
jennie* 04.13.04 - 5:49 am #

today someone called me cool
no.
fucking cool...
i was telling phil about how my bro doesnt want me to get him those tickets to see a perfect circle, so i told him about how i have a back up plan and its cool.
i have decided to get my bro another copy of Pink Floyd's Echoes....his copy like got stolen from him...and phil said...and i quote...."man, you are such a fucking cool sister."
thanks phil...i am that among other things... then i started to think its because i love my bro so much that i would do something cool for him. It is because i love kelz so much that i suprised her on her bday...its because i love my sis so much (even though i talk shit about the situations and the drama all the time) that i will listen to her when she is having a problem...i would do the same for a lot of people i think. so maybe i really am not a bad person afterall? i think i just say it for the hell of it....or maybe not? who knows.

i met a guy named roger today at work...ugh. i dont know why this is such an issue but i really am beginning to think that there is something wrong.

i had a dream last night....crazy. I dont think that i can make myself tell you...but just know that i really want it to happen. it was crazy....but in a good way. maybe i wont tell because i really do believe that if i keep it a secret that it will come true ....and man do i want it to come true...its all that i want in my life right now....geez i am so retarted. does it count that i am mentioning it?

Today was okay i didnt go to class...i slept till 12 but i was also up till like 5 coughing...sorry carolyn if i woke you...went to work and that was fun like always...i didnt do much after that...hung out with michelle...she is fucking cool. I saw Big Fish today for 50 cents....it was good...i loved it so much i am going to get it on DVD when i comes out. FYI the movie theatre...the cheap one... yeah it sucks...take a bottle of lysol disinfectant spray with you. yeah i think that i had an okay day and now i think i might try and make myself sleep...and maybe this cough will end...wishful thinking. NIGHT!


Monday, April 12, 2004

"so sick so sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick." - Taking Back Sunday

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY,
LAWRENCE!

Today is my big bro's bday...I love him to death...I dont think that he reads this but just to let you know how much i love him i am getting him concert tickets to see A Perfect Circle when they go to Corpus. He's never seen them before and supposedly this is the only one of his favorite bands that he hasnt seen yet. Good idea? let me know before i get the tickets. thanks.

I got two compliments of looking cute today...that always makes me feel good especially since i felt like crap today. I totally didnt go to my Criminal Justice class this morning... i was too tired and a lot of that has to do with my body trying to get better. So while i was in my anthro class and i came to the conclusion that cough drops are ineffective! I had two of them bastards in my mouth and they didnt work...all i did was cough. I went to speech and of course all i did was talk to michelle and came up with a bunch of crazy theories...she's a cool chick. I came back here after having lunch with nicole and i slept... i even called into work because i couldnt get out of bed. I found it odd how i slept from 1 to 5 this afternoon and i had 9 hours of sleep last night...i hate being sick. So my cell phone is broken. I hate sprint they can kiss my ass. It should be fixed within a few days...my voicemail works but that doesnt do any good because i cant actually get my messages. If ya need to call me call the room (512)408-0294 if i dont answer then i am not here and i dont know how to set up voicemail on there so i will just have to check the caller id. You can catch me on AIM, usually i put where i am. Well i got my grade back from that test i took on friday in criminal justice...85! yay me...class average was a 69...yeah i know i am so smart...i hate that class and my teacher is a nazi. Anyway i dont think that anything interesting happened today...i think i am going to be lazy and do nothing because i am going to have an easy week. love, peace, and chicken grease.

Yesterday...

Yesterday i saw my best friend! I love him...we had a great time and i was so happy to see him that i cried. I hung out with some of my friends this weekend...and that was probably the best part. There wasnt any drama so thats always good and i think that it was good that i was there this weekend. Seeing Jason was just what i needed i think...it made me happy. He gave me a copy of his demo and if there is anyone who like emo music you might want to check it out...he is so talented...his voice isnt the best but it has gotten a whole lot better...he's working on it. I burned a new cd and its pretty cool...that's all i have been listening to. I dont think that there is anything else real interesting that happened so yeah.

Today...

Today i had every intention of going to church but that didnt work out so well. I slept till like 12 in the afternoon and totally missed it i dont think that i would have been able to get up at 7 in the morning. Easter went well...nothing big this year. Usually we have all of my family at my house and have an easter egg hunt but that didnt happen because....what the hell is up with the weather, yo? It was cold and wet so no one wanted to go outside...we still had bar-b-q though and it was yummy. mmm. Then i came back...with the popcorn machine...my dad made me pop some popcorn once we got up here with it so i can know how to work it...sorry about the smell, ninth floor...popcorn anyone?...come by and get some ;) i am going to throw it away by tomorrow...so yeah come and eat it! well i still have a cough but i am starting to get better so thats good. I brought back 2 movies with me...The count of monte cristo and Enemy at the gates...awesome movies...let me know if you want to watch them with me. I dont think that there is much else to say but i guess i will see yall later...peace!

Saturday, April 10, 2004

IN VICTORIA

Yesterday...

yeah yesterday sucked. After pulling an all-nighter i went and took a test that i stayed up and studied for...it wasnt even worth staying up for...i think i did okay though...my teacher is a nazi. Anyway, i skipped anthro because i was so out of it and amazingly it was the only class that i had missed all week. Went to speech...that was fun like always...yeah right. I went back to room afterwards packed a few more things and hung around till i met nicole, kelz, and kelly for lunch. Then we went to Blanco (our hall for next year...not kelz' though) and we got to see what our rooms are gonna look like so that was cool. I went back and just waited till i got picked up.

Victoria
...

So i am here in victoria now...its good to be home except for the fact that i hate this place...i did get to see some of my friends though. When i got back i slept from like 7 to 10:30 or something and then i got up and went to denny's with jennie and paul at like midnight...we wanted to see if katie was working...she wasnt. So we hung around there and katie showed up with her boyfriend and her friend rae beth it was cool and crazy...he is a cool guy we ended up being there till like 2 something. I sang for them..why i dont know i was in a singing mood and john (katie's b/f) said that he likes my voice so that was cool. i didnt get home till 3.
i woke up this morning ...why i dont know...at like 10 and i am hanging with my sister now. My best friend Jason stopped by this morning it was weird he had no idea that i was here but he stopped anyway...i cried...god i love that kid. He wanted me to go to the beach with him but i am sick and so i will see him later and i am excited. My bro and i might hang out later too because his bday is on monday but i wont be here. Well i dont know what else to talk about so i will talk to you peeps later...peace.

Friday, April 09, 2004

GOTTA GET AWAY

have you ever reached that point of delirium where everything that you think about everyone else that you preach about constantly is what you really are? Maybe i am just too delirious right now to even know what i am saying...maybe i should sleep...maybe i should die. Does any of that make sense? I talk about how i cant stand it when people lie to me but i am a liar...yeah i may not lie the way that they do but i lie..."hey liz are you okay?" "yeah! i'm fine...everything's cool." lies. I talk about how i hate drama...what the hell do i know i was in drama and i loved it. If i didnt like drama then why like two seconds ago while i was on AIM did i do that...that thing...you know what i mean...what is it drama or am i really just an asshole? maybe both...i am both! I dont know what the hell has gotten into me...maybe...man, i just dont fucking know. Where the hell is all of this coming from? Why is it just now coming out? I wish i was a better person. Why the hell am i even writing this...i need to sleep. You know what i really need? I need to get away....i just need to be away and sleeping wont help i need to physically be away. Envy is a deadly sin and if you were to automatically die from one once you have commited it i would so be dead right now. I envy her. i envy her for once having what i want so bad but cant have...it sux. i envy her and i dont even know her...she hates me... it just works out that way...the story of my life. So you wanna know what happened on Sunday...why my day sucked...put the puzzle peices together. So here is the answer to me the real liz...no i am not a strong person...this is my breakdown...but where are the tears? Fuck them...who needs 'em? So what does this all mean? Do i even stand a chance now? Have i lost this all forever...God i hope not...if i did i dont know what i would do. God...why did i write this? maybe its the drama...i hate myself...always fucking things up for myself because i dont watch what i do. Maybe thats the answer i need to have something fuck up in my life...my family..you see they are all counting on me to be the successful one. High school "most likely to be successful nominee". High School: HOBY AMBASSADOR...NHS...Top 10% ...debate captain and prez...involved in everything and a job too. It was all bullshit i did it for everyone else ...to live up their standards...i needed to fuck up...drugs...alcohol. So i accomplished my fuck up for this semester i guess...with my dropping GPA and now this...i could totally do better i just think i have finally realized that now that i am on my own and i am not in victoria anymore i dont want to do it for anyone and i need to find a reason to do it for myself. With all of the bullshit classes that i had last semester i should have a 4.0...i say i care but i dont...

So i guess i have shown you my weaknesses and now i have to answer my own question...do i stand a chance...fuck no...and you shouldnt allow it...i am a bad person and i dont deserve you...not that you want me anyway... iwish that with the snap of my fingers i could stop having feelings for you...i am a fuck up...but most of all...fuck it...i just got to get away.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

"I'm not gonna pull out in front of you FATSO!" - An Angered Nicole With Road Rage

LAST NIGHT...

Last night i had a crazy dream...i dreamt about roger...he was here in
San Marcos
and i was with him...like we were together. I dont know what the hell that was all about but i just realized today when i was thinking about the dream that there have been a lot of things that just keeps making roger cross my mind. Maybe he died...i know that there is something wrong...even though the dream wasnt a bad one that hints that there is anything wrong...there has to be a reason that he keeps popping up in my head. I know that i talk shit about him all the time because he was an asshole and we didnt really have a good relationship...i just hope he's okay.

TODAY...

Anywho on a better note. My day went well i guess i went to class...tired as hell and when i woke up i couldnt stop coughing...it sucked maybe i will get better someday...hopefully tomorrow. I knew that i shouldnt have talked all that shit about feeling a lot better yesterday. so anyway, class was okay we watched riverdance...the flamenco dance still makes me cry...that woman is amazing...it is -way- better live though...i am totally considering going to see it again live at the majestic theatre the next time it comes. The only thing that is making me a little hesitant about it is that i am gonna have to dress up and we all know that i dont like doing that i might have to wear make-up too :O heaven forbid...oh well it will be worth it. Anyway, after class i went to the rally in the quad for the network...it was cool and i am going to join MAV (Men Against Violence) and yes i am a man....it seems like something that i would enjoy doing. I went to lunch with kelz...kelly met us and then we went up to
Jackson to meet nicole...she wasnt doing so great. I love you nicole...you will get through this. Then i went and talked shit to this guy that i really cant stand and i came back here for a few...went to the library to study for an hour and then i went to work...and we all know that i had a great time there. Fuck that place. i came back here and met up with nicole and kelz and then we went to Harris. Came back here again and i started to pack some of my stuff to move out of good old jackson...and i packed stuff for the weekend... and what a suprise i cleaned. I just got out of the shower and now it is time to study for a test that i have tomorrow morning. yay me...peace out

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

" I so cried when Mr. Rogers died, dude...my family called me to see if i was okay. " - Kelly

Last night...

So after my blog i hung out here for a bit and then i went to nicole's because that asshole
brandon had to "talk" to carolyn...he is an ass...he shouldnt fuck with good people. So i went and hung out downstairs at like maybe 10:30...that went...well...i guess... i am such an asshole. i came back up here at like 12 and then i talked with kelz and nicole for a bit and then i studied till 2:45 and went to bed at like 3 to maybe 3:30 so i was tired as hell today after the quiz. I found out last night what dorm i am in for next year. YAY FOR BLANCO.

Today...

So today was all in all a pretty okay day...i went all my classes this week so far...amazing huh? Criminal Justice was boring...so much for having a review they are assholes it wasnt really a review they wont help you out and give you hints on what will be on the test you just kinda have to study everything....thats cool i will get over it...its not like that is the only class that i am having trouble with because of the tests being ridiculous. I went to Anthro...that was not as interesting today...went to speech...sucked as usual...so i studied for my osteology quiz that i had at 1...totally aced it by the way! Just know that i did with the brains that are craddled under my frontal, parietal, and occipital bones in my head. hehe i know i am a dork! I met kelz and nicole for lunch and found out that i am only neighbors to nicole and kelly we didnt get a trio room :(...thats cool though....i love you to death nicole but really...i dont think that we could live with each other unless we had our own rooms. so i came back here at like 2:30 and slept for a loooong time and then kelly came and woke me up to workout...that went well i could have done more but i did burn 400 calories...yay me! Went and ate blimpie and then i came here took a shower...watched queer eye...those guys are great! Yay for not having to go to work today...that right there made my day. Now i am up to nothing and i am bored as hell because the paper that i have due tomorrow has been done since saturday...entertain me please!

PS Kelz i love you! Good luck with everything. I hope everything gets better.

ODE TO MY ROOMATE #2

so yeah guys are assholes and if it wasnt for the whole having to like vagina thing i would totally be a lesbian or in phils case a lizbian...anyway. I dont think that it is fair at all that good people (carolyn) have to get their hearts stepped on by assholes (guys...every guy) i have learned the hard way that they are all assholes and then you will occasionally find one that is good but even then you should be a little skeptical about the whole situation. Could it be that maybe it is our emotions that we think this about guys? no, it isnt. they just are...i dont care what they say no one can convince me differently...you see i am the type of person that deserves to be hurt by a guy because i am a bad a person and a bitch and a lot of people already know that...Carolyn you dont deserve to have the brandons fuck you over...and dont worry you will get through this just remember that it could get worse...i mean look at me... good luck.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

i feel like gum stuck to the bottom of someones shoe...maybe yours!

today...

today sucked because i woke up feeling like crap and i think i made that apparent to everyone by looking like ass all day...i tried to study before my test...so much for that...i failed...i am pretty sure that i did too...its not like it really mattered that much to me... i am making an A already and all i have to do is make an A on her final and i will still have an A...yay me. The crazy thing about it was that i wasnt the only one that failed... all of the people that even attend class said that they failed...so that test was a bitch and that is no joke either because usually all you have to do is the study guide and you will be fine but the teacher turned on us....oh well shit happens and then all you have to do is clean it up. So i came back from that horrifying test and went to eat with nicole and this is when i realized that i was really getting sick all i had was some green beens and a few potatoes and then i just picked at everything... i didnt even eat a salad like i always do...insane, huh? So we came back here after an interesting bus ride with an insanely hott bus driver and he wasnt hott because of his looks he was an... asshole...he was roger...his temper was roger...why the hell am i attracted to that crap? And trust me i -do- -not- want another roger but he was hott. boy am i fucked up! roger hasnt even crossed my mind in a really long time but it was him...it was him... anyway we came back to the dorm and i slept for almost an hour and half before work. Work...God i hate that place and i hate thinking about it and as i am typing i just want to bang the hell out of my keyboard...so yeah work was ....fun...yeah right! I hate them so much and now i dont have work wednesdays so i am really only getting like 8 hours a week ...assholes...pretty soon i will only be getting like 2...i hate them...we were so busy today and i was by myself up front and i -really- didnt want to deal with people today because i felt so sick...physically sick...sick of them...sick of that place....sick of everything...oh well...once again shit happens. The good thing is that my mom from BA came in for her appointment..it was good to see her...she is so cute...and she made my work experience today a little better than what it would have been. So i came back here and talked to jennie for a bit...that was interesting...i love you jen....i love you matt! Then like 2 minutes after getting off of the phone with jen, kelz called and i met her @ LBJ so she could eat...phil and gabe were there so it was interesting...there is never a dull moment when you get the four of us together. So when that was over with i came back here and slept for another hour and a half...just got out of the shower and now it is time to study ever bone in my body! Rock. Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease. :D


This is what i feared...this is it...this is why i have always been so hesitant.

Yesterday...

Sorry about yesterday guys it was pretty awful of me to just write that ...i should have at least blown off some steam and just said what was wrong but oh well! Everything is a little better now...i guess...i wish i would have just been oblivious to everthing...the way that kelz was about her suprise (that is another story)...my life would be way better that way. Yesterday was so horrible one of the worst days that i have had here but i think that i made it more horrible than what it really was...long story and some of you already know it too...so you know what i mean...just thanks to everyone that is there for me when my whole world falls apart...because by you being there you rebuild my world. Oh yeah and this is interesting...i went to church yesterday...yeah i know...crazy huh? I had to though there was just so much that i needed to pray about...all day i knew deep down that i needed to go because of all the bad thoughts that i had on my mind and all of the bad things that i had said...i can honestly say that i think i am gonna start going to church more often to just pray...and maybe not even go to mass...just to pray...to pray that i become a better person...and to pray for all of those around me that i love....and to pray for my situation...that it may get better and go the way that i want it to. man. what the heck am i on?

Kelz's Suprise...

So were you suprised? you should have been we did so much sneaking around that is was pathetic that you had no idea. I am glad that it all worked out and i hope that you enjoyed yourself...you know just a minute ago james thanked me and i cant say that i did it all by myself and so i have to also say that all of that thanks should definately be extended to nicole, phil, and especially gabe for letting us invade his room. We all did the planning and sneaking around together and it was great...thanks to everyone that showed up too you were a big part of it also. Kelz i hope you enjoy your presents and everything else..love ya happy 19th!


My job...

So i dont think that i mentioned the message that i got from my boss on friday because i was so stoked about the concert and other things that it wasnt until today when i had to go in that i even remembered. So yeah my boss left me a message saying that i basically have to work that new crappy schedule that they made up for me and that she wasnt going to change her mind about it. Also if i didnt want to work those hours that i would have to tell Tina so she could have my termination papers ready on monday. So there is no way that i will be working with my shawn anymore...and that makes me sad. So i called my mom and we talked about it and we came to the conclusion that i should at least stick it out until the end of this month so...April 30th will be my last day working in that hell hole. That means that i will have time to pack and study for finals. They aren't even cool people anymore and i am so not working there next year. It is too much crap to have to put up with. So only a few more weeks...i know i can do it...i am liz dammit! Wish me luck.

Moving out...

So i am going home this weekend for easter and my parents want me to start moving some of the stuff that i dont need out...and now reality is starting to set in that i am really going to move out of here...no more action jackson...no more walking a door over to see kelz or nicole... or walking down one flight of stairs to see gabe...no more community bath...maybe. What a fun and exciting first year it has been and a lot of it has to do with this dorm...i will miss it in a weird sort of way.

Summer...

I am starting to get excited about the summer...i have to sign up for my class soon and stuff and i need to go and apply for that job when i go to victoria this weekend...maybe i just need to be away like i said before and this is gonna be a summer to test me. I have every intention of seeing all of my buddies and kelly we are going to that strip club! bitch!

Well, farwell my loves...i have really got to study and i am getting tired fast ...there is not a whole lot of time left on my clock...nighty night!

~dances around~ "this is really happening..." - Radiohead
thanks for the cd ;)

ODE TO MY ROOMATE

First things first! i have to let everyone know that all of those things that i said about my roomate i really didnt mean...i was just blowing off steam from when i would kinda get annoyed like when i am trying to study or sleep or something and there would be people in here and stuff...or her constant klanking on her keyboard because she types super duper fast ...but i also have to remember that i probably do things to make her upset too and i know she doesnt like my music but she has to listen to it all the time ... i think that this happens to everyone and not just me and i need to remember that this is not just my room and that its hers too...she is not a bad person...she is a great person...an even better person than what i am or ever will be...i am always an ass to the people that i really do care about...she isnt. I also think that this apology has a lot to do with the fact that i know she is looking out for me and i would totally do the same thing for her...like if i saw brandon at a party kissing some other girl i would totally tell her...and like that time that they (care, ha, and kat) went to a party and they saw jimmy they were on the lookout for nicole...even though they may not hang out with us (me, kelz, and nicole) and they probably dont like some of the stuff we say or do...we dont have to ask them to lookout for us and that shows that they care...i just want you to know carolyn ...i am sorry for saying anything bad to you and also if i ever treated you like shit...this is my apology...i am on the lookout for you too and thank you sooo much for yesterday...i hope that all goes well for you in the future and i hope that even though we wont be rooming next year that we can get together for lunch @ chilis or something.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

i dont even fucking care to write in this right now...fuck you.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY, KELSEA

...wish you were here.

So yesterday was pretty cool. After my nap i got ready for the show...the MATCHBOOK ROMANCE show, and i went with Gabe to watch him jam out with some guys at this storage place...it was pretty cool...they are all very musically inclined and once they get to know what they work good with they will be amazing...but not as amazing as Matchbook Romance ;). Anyway, so after my nap i came to the conclusion that i wasn't feeling very good so after getting lost a little in austin we finally got to the backroom and we caught like the last song of dynamite boy...i was cool with that just as long as i didn't miss Matchbook. Man, they came out and started setting up and i got really excited...they put on a great show...a GREAT show. I loved it. oh, maybe this is a good time to Thank Gabe for taking me....that was really awesome of you...you made my week of hell better by doing that and going with me...i hope you had as much fun as i did. Anywho. i remebered telling Gabe that i really hoped that they would play my favorite song called "14 balloons" and he was like which one is that? and i told him that that song wasnt on the cd that he had that it was released on some other cd that they have but it is about andy's (the lead singer) friend's drug addiction. The song is only like 1:07 but it was so cool the way that they did it....they played the song and then with out stopping they went straight into the song "Your stories, my alibis" man, it was just amazing. Another really cool part was when pete (the bass player from fall out boy) came out and took the mic from the andy and sang the rest of the lyrics to "Promise"...the last song that they played. Ryan (the bassist from Matchbook) was just dripping in sweat and it was cool as hell how much he got into it. Fall out boy came out and played next and they were so great i even think that they put on a more energetic and exciting show than mest and matchbook...it was cool the guitarist and the bass player were both barefoot the whole time. I really liked the lead singers voice...it is a good live voice. At the end of fall out boy's performance Ryan came out and took over bass and started played for pete, and pete climbed on top of the speakers and hung himself upside down from the ceiling with his feet and was still singing the song...and Ryan walked up to him while still playing bass and they both started singing into the mic. it was fun....a fun show....one of the best i have been to in a while. So right before mest went on i decided that i was going to move to the side because i was practically deaf in my right ear. So i found Gabe and he told me that he met the lead singer to matchbook and i was soooo pissed...well jealous really. So while we were standing off to the side Andy walked right by me and i just froze...then judas walked by me and i was like damn he is so fucking hott. So the next time that Andy walked by me...it went something like this...
me - hey andy, my name is liz (then he moved his beer to the other hand and shook my hand)
andy - hey.
me - your show was so cool...i love you guys.
andy - thanks alot.
me - the way that ya'll played 14 balloons and then went into the next song was just...amazing...i was speechless.
andy - yeah? cool...i am glad that you liked it...well you take it easy, okay?
me - yeah i will, later
let me not forget to mention that the music was soo loud that i was literally an inch away from his face...yeah it was awesome. Judas touched me. yeah i know i am a dork. Gabe was just like...i dont know why you just dont talk to him... and then i told him that it was because judas is the shy one...he wouldnt really talk to you...and like this other guy tried to talk to him and judas just shook his hand and kept walking...i didnt want to feel stupid... and did i mention that judas is hott...i would have probably not been able to talk. Anyway, Mest went on and it was cool they are funny guys and the lead singer was talking about how texas has something that no other state has...and then he was like yeah mexicans...and i flipped him off. They dedicated a song to the mexcians, a song to jeremiah the guitaritst because he is mexican and one to all of the girls because... and i quote "texas has got a lot of hott pussy." fuck him to label them as pussy. other than that it was sooo cool and Ryan also came out and played with them too on the last song of the encore which was funny as hell... and there was one point during the encore where the drummer and the lead singer switched and the drummer started rapping...Ryan came out and danced...he looked like a dumbass but it was funny as hell and he is cool...and hott. All in all it was a great show.

Now i have to tell you about the crazy kid....the one that was cool as hell. He was soooo freaking skinny and maybe a little shorter than me...he had curly blond/brown hair and was wearing a yellow shirt....he was like yelling at Gabe and then Gabe would yell back and then he disappeared and right before fall out boy he came back and was getting really pumped up for them. He turned to me and gabe and started to push us around and screamed at us and then he wrapped his arm around me and gabe necks and hugged us...it was soo weird... i have been to a lot of shows and that has never happened to me...it was funny. There was another kid that i saw there that was standing next to the entire time of fall out boy. Later when me and Gabe were standing by the wall gabe was like that girl was standing by you the entire time of fall out boy....and i was like... yeah that girl is a feisty little bitch. Then like maybe an hour later we saw "her" walk into the boys bathroom me and gabe just looked at each other and were shocked....we could have sworn it was a girl...sure the hell fooled me...and gabe.

Man for those of you who know me....i hate cigarette smoke...and it gives me a headache it was bad enough that i was already nautious from not eating all day. So when we left it got worse...a whole lot worse. i dont remember half of the drive home i think i just balcked out... it was crazy. I just came up here and usually i take a shower before i go to bed right after a show but i took 3 ibuprofen for my massive headache and just slept the whole night. I woke up this morning and took a shower...and now i am about to get some homework done because i have stuff to do all day tomorrow so i need to get it done today...if possible. Peace out.

Friday, April 02, 2004

"Is it true what they say about the son of god? did he die for us, did he die at all? And if I sold my soul, to you, for a bag of gold...which one of us would be the foolish one?" - Bright Eyes

Man my head hurts soooo much from all of the lack of sleep that i am experiencing as well as all of the studying that i have been doing for that past few days....well my anthro test went....well....i guess, there were a few that stumped me but i wasnt alone so its cool. yeah so i think i am gonna take a nap because if i dont i will die at the concert tonight....FINALLY MATCHBOOK ROMANCE! this will be great! :D Tomorrow is Kelz's birthday but she isnt gonna be here so i guess i will just do nothing. I skipped criminal justice today to do some last minute studying on my anthro test...and boy am i glad that i did...i went to bed at like 3 and i woke up at seven to study and i had the test at 10 so you could only imagine how tired i am. My boss is a bitch and she was giving me hell today...she can kiss my ass.

I went and saw dancers in flight last night...it was pretty cool except that i wasnt to keen on the whole improvisation part...it kinda bored me :/ the last dance a was pretty damn awesome though...they did a sequence to my favorite radiohead song, "Idioteque" (i think that's how you spell it) and it was cool. Yeah so tomorrow should be a day of getting a lot of my homework done... hopefully. Next week is another one of those weeks...wish me luck!

I can't wait till summer...i hate my job here,but i also hate victoria....i am gonna miss my buddies from here though....i hate my roomate (not really just the fact that she is so dumb and has no respect for me or my things) and her bitch friend not going to mention names ~ cough cough ~ KAT ~cough cough~...there are some other things here that i hate but i wont mention but i just need to get away and be by myself for a while. i do know of one thing that i really do need (well want really) but i cant have...maybe victoria is just the solution that i need even though i hate that place... i think that 18 years was more than enough time there but maybe not. who knows? well its time for a nap and its raining i love sleeping when it rains...so comforting...love, peace, and chicken grease. hehe :D

Thursday, April 01, 2004

What the hell am i supposed to do? and i said YEAH YEAH!

yeah so today i got up at 10 and i went and studied for my bones quiz that i will be having next wednesday and then i went and ate with phil...man that guy is hilarious. i came back here for a few and did a few more words for my anthro test that i have been stressing about....at this point the only thing that i am looking forward to is seeing MATCHBOOK ROMANCE play tomorrow at the backroom in Austin....and watch Gabe's band practice that should be exciting for him especially since he has wanted to get a band together for a while....so yeah... i hate my roomate and her bitch friends who are so fucking inconsiderate and have no fucking common sense or respect. So i went to the library for a few hours earlier after i ate and came here for an hour or so and studied and i am probably gonna study some more here in a few. Then i am going to see Dancers in Flight @ 7:30 so of course there would be no way that i could have gone to see thrice and poison the well anyway i am so jealous for those of you get to go...thrice is amazing! so i have to type a critique on that dance thing i am going to ...due on tuesday the sad thing is that i have had a month to do it....procrastination at its best! oh well. Well i better get to studying i have very little time and soooo much information...wish me luck...peace out!

2 Days till Kelz Birthday
MATCHBOOK ROMANCE TOMORROW!

I HATE MY JOB! i hate the fact that i have to work with assholes and the fact i have a boss who is a bitch! i hate the fact that i am underminded as an adult in that environment. I also hate that inadequacy that i feel from a day to day basis when working there and i also hate how i am talked down to all the time. I hate being treated like a kid...am i not in college for a fucking reason?! Bullshit i tell you BULLSHIT! Man if it wasnt because there is only like a month or so of working there i would totally quit...fuck my cell phone...who needs it? Wait! I do...oh shit...oh well. So get this there are cutting my hours but i have to work everday from 3 to 5 and i told them fucks that i didnt want to work fridays! Maybe i can save my ass and somehow convince my boss to let me keep the hours that i am already working and screw that there is now way in hell that i am going in tomorrow at 3 they are just gonna have to get over it!
Anywho...other than my work drama i guess my day was pretty average except for all of the stressing out that i have been doing...FUCK ANTHROPOLOGY! Criminal justice was pretty normal and anthro was funny as usual but the test is gonna suck...i didnt pay attention in speech...but then again when do i ? i had lunch with nicole...went to my anthro lab...i want my lab TA dead and i dont care how hott he is! i came back here and got a little studying done...i went with kelz to logans...mmmm logans....came back took a nap...woke up watched the OC of course! how could i ever miss it? took a shower...mmmm shower...helped my aunt with her math homework over the phone....laughed at the fact that my roomate might potentially fail her next criminal justice test...hehe...and now i am about to study...yay...fun for me! well peace out people!

Oh yeah....3 days till kelz's Birthday!
2 days till MATCHBOOK ROMANCE!
oh God help me get through this week with a good grade on my anthro test...